I’m the Inventor of Horse Idioms and You’re Misusing Every Single One
A one horse town isn’t some village out in the boonies. Do you know how many horses there are in the boonies? Tons.
Tag: Writing
Praise for My Debut Novel
Readers will be delighted, frightened, and enlightened, though a few will want to skip a certain scene—you’ll know which one.
Why Wasn’t Your Book Dedicated to Me, Your Obvious Inspiration for the Antagonist?
And his use of my signature catchphrase, “Smell you forever because you stink that bad.” I knew I should have had that copyrighted.
Your Subscription to Humor Is About to Expire
Our value option, the Chuckle Tier, includes smirks, knowing smiles, and obligatory chortles at the wisecracks of uncles.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your Short Story Submission’s Attachment
I’m not very good with computers, could you clarify what you mean by “you somehow attached your son to your previous email rather than your story”?
An Apology from Your Proctologist for Writing Poems About Your Colonoscopy
To be fair, they are really good poems. I don’t want to toot my own horn (a little proctologist humor there), but those poems are inspired.
Advice Column for Mad Scientists and Super Villains
Dear Megatron, I’ve been earning money from my paper route to buy smoke detectors so I can stockpile the radioactive americium.
My Writing Style Is Best Described as a Cross Between Every Great Writer Ever
What no one seems to understand is that, as an artist, it’s my duty to pay homage to all the literary titans who have influenced me.
A Recipe Blogger’s Text Responses to Incredibly Simple Questions
What time are we getting coffee later? The Arabian Peninsula has always been one of the harshest environments on Earth, and 800 A.D. was no exception.
Entries from a Journal I Think Will Be Read by Other People
I called both my parents to tell them that I loved them, then I drove exactly 5 MPH above the speed limit to work.
An NYT/Washington Post Fact Check of Laffy Taffy Jokes
The Claim: What did you call a pile of cats? (a Meowtain) Our Rating: FALSE. A group of cats is called a Clowder.
Whoops, Must Have Laughed Out Loud in This Busy Cafe at Something I Just Wrote
Obviously, nobody wants to hear the funny thing I wrote, right? I know you’re all staring at me, since my laugh set off the smoke alarms.