An Oprah Gif for Every Occasion
Graduations: Oprah in black informing Stephen Colbert’s audience that the tests are back and they all have chlamydia.
Tag: Weird
The Ten Most Important Years of the Past Decade
2011: The Year We Lost Contact When Rupert Murdoch Blocked Alien Transmission with a Private Satellite and Claimed Worldwide Redistribution Rights.
The Six Types of Belly Button
You have a sense of inferiority to people with innies, but a sense of superiority to kangaroos and other marsupials that lack belly buttons.
Everyone Who Has Seen Ever Me Naked, Ranked
Bra-Sizing Woman: She looks young, maybe eighteen, and I wonder to myself if this might be illegal.
16 Low-Cost Activities to Recreate the Comfort of the Womb
Wrap yourself from the neck down in Saran Wrap, and then ask a friend to spray lukewarm water between you and the plastic with a garden hose.
Review Your Monkey’s Paw Order on Amazon
"I got this weird monkey’s paw from some dude hanging outside of Port Authority. I was trying to buy weed and he said he had something stronger? Lol"
My Mid-Flight Roast of Our Pilot Was Ruined When the Air Marshal Heckled Me
When the captain misspoke and said “tur-buh-lence,” instead of “turbulence,” I was like a shark smelling blood in the water.
Greetings from Small, Tiny, Little Asian Girl
I’m not actually Chinese but, as Chinese is the official language of all of Asia and being Asian, means I’m Chinese. I see you are quite cultured, sir.
Posts in Your High School Reunion Facebook Page
Anyone know what jail Tommy is in? Maybe we could bring the reunion to him! Would be like the good ole days!
I’m Sorry I’m Only an Attempted Murderer
Your family has a long legacy of murderers, and you hoped to marry one yourself. You envisioned a picture-perfect life as a convicted murderer’s wife.
The “Lex Ed” You Wish You’d Had When You Were Younger
Polls show that over 80% percent of people in their late teens have tried talking in a foreign language at least once.
Qualities I Require in a Lunch Box for My Child
Self-cleaning. Enchanted with spell that bewitches child into consuming lunch regardless of fiber content. Doubles as USCG-approved flotation device.