I’m the Still Life with Asparagus Painting at the Rijksmuseum and I Don’t Appreciate You Laughing
I’m not some lame meme for TikTok. I’m a piece of art, dude. I live here! In a museum! Where do you live? A shared one-bedroom in Bushwick?
I’m not some lame meme for TikTok. I’m a piece of art, dude. I live here! In a museum! Where do you live? A shared one-bedroom in Bushwick?
The bedroom. The native language here has more than 50 known words to mean “anxiety” and the local motto is “we’re totally fucked.”
It is a well-known fact that only the most elite acquire specific, regional, life-threatening diseases as symbols of culture and refinement.
I’d ask someone to save me from this giant octopus, but how do I know their hands aren’t contaminated?
She thinks I forgot what park it was! We walked by it two months ago and she said “Look! Do you remember?” and I said “What?"
A treacherous, smelly laundry pile mountain with its own micro-ecosystem, flora/fauna/foot fungus found nowhere else, and several documentaries.
Wanting to avoid doing three year's worth of laundry, I shall strike out once again, this time to conquer IKEA.
While Thinking About: The tropical rainforest of Rhukanrhuka, Bolivia. You'll Be: Swearing at the deli rat that scampered off with your last Funyun.
It's simple: if a recipe involves fewer than 52 ingredients, you're not allowed to eat it. Or if it takes fewer than 83 steps or 5 hours to prepare.
Our friendly staff will welcome you in the lobby, where we’ll happily carry your bags for you. Look at you pretending you’re about to help!
After a bit of soul searching, preceded by rather a lot of ayahuasca in a Christopher Street loft, I’ve decided to radically restructure my tours.
Time is money. Time flies. And therefore, the bus driver flies. Though side roads, through shortcuts, through worryingly narrow gaps.