The First Ever Honest Dating Profile
I will outline all the terrible attributes that make me a bad person and suggest the underlying psychological reasons why I am perpetually alone. This will save us time I promise.
Tag: Satire
If You’re a Rabbit, Fuck Like One
Baby you and me ain't nothin but rabbits. So let's do it way better, more often, and super sexier than they do it on the Discovery Channel.
Kenny Loggins Must Die
There comes a moment in a man's life when he stares into the jaundiced, bleary eye of fate and realizes the inescapable truth of what is to become of the rest of his time in this world.
The Perfect Chain Letter
Today, you have the opportunity to make a difference in somebody's life. While Peter's harrowing 17-story fall may seem too much to bear, your inbox can turn things around.
As Your Renewable Energy Czar, I Say We Build the World’s Largest Windmill
As your Drain Commissioner, I believe what this city needs more than adequately functioning drains, or streets free of the raw sewage presently covering them, is a 2000-foot tall windmill.
With MIT Online, Anyone Can Be Smart for Free!
Recently the Massachusetts Institute of Technology launched an online learning initiative called "MITx" allowing anyone to take MIT classes for free. Here's a sampling.
Shit Wars: The Game Show for Assholes!
Shit Wars is a new game show in which contestants shit into translucent toilet bowls for viewers at home to see and judges to score. Crap your way to Shitking!
Choose Your Own Discrimination Victim!
With blacks and gays on the verge of becoming free and clear of prejudice, that leaves us with one burning question: Who do we pick on next, midgets, mongoloids, invalids, or people with cancer?
Japanese Tsunami Garbage Includes Refugees
The Texas-sized mass of garbage from the Japanese tsunami slowly approaching California does indeed house over 8,000 refugees in the newly discovered central "city" amid the muck.
The Pert Plus Crystal Meth and Napalm Challenge
I've recently been asked to endorse Pert Plus shampoo to you, the Pointsincase.com reader. Unfortunately, I was also told immediately afterwards NOT to endorse them as soon as I pitched this contest column idea.
Greg’s New Kitchen Appliances Talk Too Much, And They’re Mean, Too
The combination refrigerator and freezer thought the oven was pretty fucked up. Then again, they were always judging other appliances; especially new appliances.
If the US Had Defaulted on Its Debt
Tim Cook, in taking over for Steve Jobs as CEO of Apple, the most successful company on Earth, reveals a startling revelation about what would have happened had we defaulted on our national debt.