The Kindly Strip Club First-Timer
So if I don't buy a beer I have to leave? I was just telling the underdressed young lady here that I can't buy another beer because I'm saving for plane tickets.
Tag: Satire
The Fart Collector: How to Turn Shame into Profit
John Finklestein went from celebrated art collector to shamed FART collector overnight. Here's how that smelly reputation ended up taking him to the top.
Modern Austen IV: Laying the Foundation for Online Courtship
You might have guessed that I am still without a husband. Which is why I have established an online profile in search of dating courtship.
In Defense of Sorority Slang
While I'm not a huge fan of sorority mixers, alcohol poisoning, or Spanx, we must appreciate sorority girl slang for its daily usefulness and mellifluous potency.
Photographer Seeks Feline Subjects for Sexy Shoot
Are you looking for a fun, creative, and provocative way to spend time with your cat? SEXY CAT INDUSTRIES™ will take your cat to the next level with LINGERIE!
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s Dating Tips for Men
You young guys have a lot to learn about women. But you're in luck. Rob Ford is here to tell you how to relate, dominate, and perpetrate when it comes to chicks.
You’ll Never Guess What CNN Told Me About Venezuela
Venezuela has suggested that CNN is only doing stories about Venezuela because CNN might be feeling a little bit insecure about its own newsworthiness. OUCH.
Batman & Robin Discuss 2014’s Biggest Upcoming Films
The movie world is set to deliver both highs and lows in 2014. Hear what our caped crusaders have to say in casual convo about some of the year's big releases.
Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego: Anthony Bourdain Edition
Last reported to have bludgeoned Big Ben on a royal rampage in London, Anthony Bourdain has stolen Jamie Oliver’s prized herb garden. Can you help us get it back?
Four Hot Stock Picks from Satanwater Destructive Capital Management
Luce F.R. founded the fund Satanwater Destructive Capital Management to serve a wide range of hell-bound institutional clients. The hedge returned 666% last year.
The Perfect Chain Letter, Part 3
My friend Thomas received this email and sent it to only 4 of his friends. Guess what happened? All 4 were kidnapped and abused by uneducated, drunk carnival workers.
Cover Letter From a College Grad with No Skills
Dear Sir, my mom made me contact you regarding the position of Costumer Service Rep because she's tired of seeing me play video games in my underwear.