Three Studies Scientists Don’t Want You to Know About
The majority of scientists are deeply corrupted by their associations with for-profit institutions. I, on the other hand, have three important independent findings to share.
Tag: Satire
Sure, Cecil the Lion was Killed, But What About My Overfed Fish?
The world has wept for Cecil the Lion. But what about Thurgood, my overfed Siamese fighting fish? My friend left him to die and certainly this deserves as much attention.
Welcome to Tonight’s Mayan Human Sacrifice!
A terrified young virgin will be forcibly restrained while her heart is ripped, still beating, out of her chest, while she endures an unimaginably gruesome demise!
Rising Indie Band Seeking New Bandmate Who Interviews Well
We need a new bandmate who can lead an interview. WE CAN'T DO IT!! MUSICAL TALENT IS NOT REQUIRED TO JOIN THIS BAND. In fact, please ONLY be charming.
The Donald Trump Rap
"I will build a great wall - nobody builds walls better than me." Take a look around, "I am the least racist person there is." I simply think black people shouldn't have kids.
An Oral History of My DIY Children’s Party Venue
Lucas' DIY Children's Playhouse brought children with new ideas together to celebrate their birthdays in an "anything goes" environment, where do-it-yourself culture thrived.
Dear High School Class of 2015: Raptors Will Take Your Jobs
Raptors are not just dim-witted lizards anymore. They can open doors, hack your phone, and steal your car. And they're threatening to takie your jobs right now.
The Paris Review: Jason Half-Pillow, The Art of Fiction No. 501
Jason Half-Pillow has been published in countless literary magazines that few people have read, and no one has read cover to cover, including their editors.
An Open Letter to All the Ungrateful Animals I’ve Rescued
I could have easily crushed you. At no time did you outwit me or save yourself. If I wanted to I could have passed you by and let nature take its course, but I didn’t.
Death Responds to His Performance Review at Thompson and Griffin Funeral Home
It's not that I don't feel valued here, it's just that I want my value to be more externally expressed. I feel this place has gotten more life-affirming over the years.
If This 8-Week Course Helped Improve MY Grammar, It Can Improve YOURS To
Before I took the on line course at Farmington's, I was just like you. My punctuation stank: my syntax was out of whack: and my spelling was down write atrocious!
Don’t You DARE Touch My Nuts
You're just gonna roll up like some kind of rouge detective and start stealing my hard-earned, strategically buried nuts from their strategic hiding places? NO WAY.