The Things I’d Eat for Love
I’m an adventurous soul who is unafraid to eat things - terrible, weird things - in order to prove my affections for a potential suitor.
Tag: Satire
Time is Running Out for Obama to Implement Sharia Law
Constitutional scholars are already working to find loopholes so President Trump can reverse all impending evil jihadist programs.
Merry Fucking Christmas to All From the Millers!
Another eventful year has passed and the Millers are feeling SO BLESSED despite the fact that we are all agnostics or atheists.
Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer (Not That You Care, Grandpa)
The undertones are more disturbing than a simple Christmas accident: Grandpa and the rest of the family took out Grandma deliberately.
Court Sullivan is Actually a Good Guy
Cast aside your preconceived notions, your better judgment, and your misguided permanent distrust, and just take a gamble on the guy.
A Transcript from the New York Times Interview with President-Elect Trump About a Photograph of a Shoe
Join The New York Times and President-elect Trump to find out once and for all if this is a photograph of a shoe.
Alien Abduction or Dentist Appointment?
Dissect this actual transcript between psychologist and patient under hypnosis and decide whether it's an alien probing or a dental cleaning.
God’s Debut Column on NYTimes.com
We at the NYT are thrilled to provide a forum for Our Lord to share His divine wisdom, advice and insight into the people and events that have shaped history.
Teacher of the Year: Mr. Richard Head
When the barrier between student life and adulthood is pulled down, we hope that each of our graduates will stand out as a bulging success.
Mixer Helps Lonely Man Finally Surpass Father
A spur-of-the-moment party saves desperate, lonely man Danny Aleman from social oblivion and family patheticism.
Our Medication May Kill You, But It’s Not For Sure (Ok, It’s For Sure)
While this medication may be swallowed, it may also be used as a suppository, although after ingestion, please immediately finish your living will.
The New Drink of Choice for Everyone, Everywhere
Thugs, models, people dying from thirst, even God are all sipping on this classic drink. Grab a glass before it's too late!