How to Have a Happy Relationship Even Though You’re Not Dating Mister Rogers
Fred had a song for every occasion: feeling happy, excited, blue. He even called it, “feeling blue,” and not “oh, so you’re taking another nap today?”
Tag: Satire
Ennui Tycoon: Turn Your Melancholy Into Gaming Currency
Make sure the infrastructure of your city is unintuitive and inadequate. Traffic will increase the ennui of your citizens.
Mrs. Malone’s 4th Grade Math Quiz
Tamber excavates 1 skeleton. He recognizes its bone structure. 81-inch. Could it be? D.B. Cooper? How many inches taller than Tamber is D.B. Cooper?
Employment Opportunity
We also don't have a retirement plan because the majority of our employees only stay with us for 2-3 hours.
Music Fans Rejoice! After 29 Years, Billy Joel Has Finally Released the Rough Draft of “We Didn’t Start the Fire”
We- started the fire/It was always burning/Since we started the fire/We- did start the fire/Yes! We did light it/Because he thought we’d like it
Angry Tweets from a Passenger on the Oregon Trail
We only have 700 miles left! Might be dehydration or crippling fever but think I love these friggin people! Thank you @OTBoltWagons! #final4
iOS 12 Will Help Fight Phone Addiction by Having Your High School Bully Threaten to Kick Your Ass if You So Much as Look at Your Phone
Swirlies, wet-willies, the thing where you step on the back of someone’s shoe and it comes off, ‘flat-tiring...’ It’ll all be in iOS 12.
What’s On Tap at the Bitter Break-Up Brewery
Petty Fight Pilsner: Remember that yelling match in the parking lot after the old disagreement about whose responsibility it was to feed the fish?
The Thunder in Paradise: Poems Created From Interviews With Hulk Hogan, Part 2
fast-forward/the perfect storm./America was at conflict with Iran/Iraq/the political situation/between the countries./between good vs. evil.
Hey Bullies: Stay Off Our Beaches
How many times have you seen this: some jerk starts trying to drink all the ocean water because they don’t want the fish to have it.
If Bachelorette Contestants Were Burger King Menu Items
100% white meat between a mayonnaise-soaked bun, this Trump-supporter gets drunk off vodka cranberries and admits that he’s never met a black person.
Greetings! ‘Tis I, The Last Man on ChatRoulette
This was a lively place teeming with men who after a day of explaining Bitcoin to George Lucas on Twitter, knew that they would find love on a webcam.