Satire | Page 219 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

"The Christmas Countdown": A group of photogenic children frolic by a fireplace and repeatedly exclaim "It's almost Christmas!" for 87 minutes.

Missed You… Again You: A relaxing holiday. Me: Dehydrated, depleted, stuck in traffic. God, I want you so bad.

Maybe, if you roll up your in-flight magazine and hit him really hard on the nose with your free hand--- Oh, Saint Jude! He’s unhinged his jaw now…

I am fairly certain my stepson is going to murder me. These albums have turned what's left of His heart as frosted as the tips of His hair.

October 1st, 1926 “Automobiles are fine, but Partybots are the future. I don’t understand why my investors are mad.”

We just can’t continue on like this without telling everyone we know that we can’t continue on like this.

Colorblock Windbreaker: You wear this athletic fit ironically because you are actually a struggling improv performer.

Painting’s fantastic, because over the years, we know of hundreds of aircraft taken out by Stingers. And we’ve painted many, many, many of them.

How do you rate your performance? Your Answer: This place would crumble without me. Work Appropriate Answer: I have the utmost confidence in myself.

You’re probably taking a hard look at yourself, reeling with guilt at the thought of all the poor, innocent, mother mosquitos you’ve smooshed.

When you die, it won’t likely be a bunch of vultures or a serial killer who see you last. It will be me, your friendly neighborhood mortician.

Wondered what it would be like to get directions from that one friend who’s confident they know where you’re going but “could be a few blocks off”?