I’m Not Like Other Tourists
“Quierrro ceviche,” I purr and raise an eyebrow. “Ok, one ceviche coming right up,” He responds in English. Haha! He’s fun and must stop flirting!
Tag: Satire
Laundering Instructions for Your $148 Anthropologie Romper
Cleanse your washing machine: In the drum, tumble one medium-sized bushel of dried sage, rosemary, and lavender on your delicates cycle.
Elizabeth Holmes Proves Women Are Just as Good at Committing Fraud as the Guys
Who faced more adversity than when Elizabeth was defrauding people based on an invention that was scientifically impossible? No one, that’s who.
“SNL” Alums Remember the Awkward Encounters with Lorne Michaels That Got Them Hired!
Seth Meyers: "Lorne and his cavalry cast a weighted net over me and dragged me away on a dirt road. I knew my life was about to change forever."
The Syllabus to Paul Ryan’s Notre Dame Political Science Class
There's no curve in this class. Curves are “the hammock that lulls able-bodied students into dependence and complacency, draining their will.”
Quiz: Which New Testament Snack is Your Ultimate Boyfriend?
Jesus, Herod, Judas, and John the Baptist were the One Direction of the Roman Empire, with their feuds, alliances and grooming choices.
The Harrowing Tale of Going 52 Hours Without a Phone
I’m outside now, walking to the nearby pizza shop. There are people everywhere, so many of them, crawling all over the place.
Alright Fellas, We’re Doing It: We’re Robbing This Bank
Hey now. Don’t give me that look. We’re still a team, fellas. I’m a valued member of this crew, just as important as everybody else.
Let Me Feign Confidence for This Networking Luau
Sitting at a bar alone chewing mint gum while sipping a fruity drink is the ideal thing for a confident person to do at a party.
Erotica by a Woman Pretending to Be a Man Who is Pretending to Be a Woman
Her nipples were like CD-ROMS, perfectly circular, and any man could see themselves in them.
RE: The Restless Dead Haunting the Office
Could we reschedule our 3:00? A rift between this world and the next has opened in the conference room, and we can’t hear client calls over the endless torture of the damned.
Be the Housesitter: Mitski’s Housesitting Instructions
I’ve made up the bed for you with clean sheets. All of my greatest wishes and darkest thoughts have laid across my mattress.