My Spirit Fiance Wouldn’t Stop Partying So I Dumped Him
Do you know what it’s like for me when you’re out haunting someone else? It’s quiet. No branches scraping the windows, no creaking floorboards.
Tag: Relationships
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Again, And This Time I’m Not Unshrinking Them until You Promise Not to Leave Me
Don’t worry, I’ve left them with enough food to last several weeks, which in this case is a bottle cap of water and a couple of croutons.
I’m an SEC-Football-Turned-Bumble Coach and Your Offense Is Trash
Your dating game plan is dogshit. I haven’t seen an operation this shit-tier since my first job at Southwestern Louisiana A&M Poly Tech State.
How to Tell Your Boyfriend You Don’t Want to Return with Him from the Underworld
Listen, we’ve all been there. Relationships aren’t all grapes, private lyre performances, and lounging like statues in an acropolis.
Spend a Romantic Weekend Hiking and Riding Centaurs at Branbury Farms
Let our four-legged friends teach you about their traditions, long history, or the way to make the best apple cider you've ever had (a Branbury guarantee).
New York City’s Most Unpowerful Couples
Brick, 47, screaming Mets fan and Chester, 42, crying Jets fan: These two brilliantly built their own empires, but still make time for each other.
If Your Online Dates Texted Like Political Campaigns
Hey, Maggie, I’ll cut right to the chase. Please, Maggie, confirm that you’ll see me at Miller’s Tavern tonight at 8 p.m.
What He Means When He Says “You’re Not Like the Other Girls”
You have a personality. Other girls don’t. They have no personality. They aren’t funny and they have no hobbies or interests to speak of.
I Am Having Trouble Carving My Wife’s Likeness into a Pumpkin in Such a Way That Captures Her Raw Sexual Energy
The farmer at the pumpkin patch is threatening to stop selling me any more pumpkins because he thinks what I’m doing is “fucked up.”
I Trust My Boyfriend, But I Would Trust Him More if I Had All of His Passwords
Is it so terrible that I want transparency? And the permanent ability to login to his Twitter whenever I'm feeling a little fucking insane?
5 Running Shoes That Won’t Help Me Escape the Reality That My Wife Is Having an Affair with David Attenborough
Unfortunately, even if I found the perfect pair of running shoes and I was the fastest man in the world, I wouldn’t be able to outrun the truth.
The Run-Over Deer You’ve Decided to Use as a Symbol for Your Crumbling Relationship Has Had Enough
"Yeah, it’s cool, I’ll just lay here—lie here?" I’ll mutter, as you clamber out of your, I don’t know, 2012 Ford Fusion, with a Phish decal.