What I Think People Will See When They Do My Background Check
We found out that for a whole six months of junior year you got really, really into Doctor Who and Sherlock. Like, fanfiction level.
Tag: Editors’ Picks
We Only Dumped Toxic Waste in Your Drinking Water to Raise Awareness of Hazardous Dumping
Remember: if our competitors are not fined out of existence, then your friends and neighbors died for nothing.
How to Do the Perfect Squat
Popular squat varietals include Back Squats, Front Squats, and Boot Cut.
Did You Have to Invite Your Foley Artist Friends to Our Dinner Party?
Now every time I walk, they thump a loafer on a piece of linoleum. I mean dammit, their timing is perfect but you know I’m sensitive about my gait.
The Three Laws of Robotics, If Isaac Asimov Had Led a Different Life
The Laws of Robotics, if Isaac Asimov was really into Partying: A robot must not harsh the vibe, or by inaction, allow the vibe to be harshed.
Restrictions to the Office’s Communal Robert’s Motorcycle
Please do not straddle the beast unless you have experience wielding crotch rockets of NASA caliber.
What to Say If Someone Offers You a Cigarette
I don’t want my future to go up in smoke. Sam is always watching. I don’t want to risk my chances of getting into a good college. Or my standing with Sam.
For God’s Sake! Why Are You All Still Ordering Our Spiciest Wings That Have Put 27 in Comas?!
We are strongly discouraging any food vloggers, frat bros, or any self-proclaimed "spice fiends" from coming to Tony’s Tavern (off I-85, exit 17).
Of Course I’m Taking Valentine’s Day Seriously, I Rented “Margin Call”
I’m talking secrets. Intrigue. Betrayal. A young Penn Badgley. Oh, yeah. I rented "Margin Call." What do you mean, “What’s that?”
I’m a Matriarch in a Play, and I’m Sure Nothing Bad Will Happen at My Family Gathering
Awfully hot day, isn’t it? It’s always hot here in the summers, but we make do. That’s what the Edgar family does. We make do.
Five Turtles You Saved to Get into College and the Spine-Chilling Deaths They’ve Died Since
From the moment you looked into Doris's eyes, you knew that your father's assistant who majored in Comp Lit at Yale would find the right words to describe them.
Inspiring Adages Reimagined by a 36-Year-Old Writer-Slash-Server
When God closes a door, he opens a window. Because you will never, and I mean never, have central air conditioning.