9 Times I Did Something Crazy at Jason’s Party and Everyone Was Like, “That’s Just Spencer Being Spencer!”
Jason was kind of pissed that I spilled his hot sauce all over myself, but that’s why I wore an apron!
Jason was kind of pissed that I spilled his hot sauce all over myself, but that’s why I wore an apron!
I want to complement the kidnappers’ willingness to take down all of Larry’s dictation. That’s very considerate for kidnappers. He’s lucky.
Sitting at a bar alone chewing mint gum while sipping a fruity drink is the ideal thing for a confident person to do at a party.
Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum: There never was a murder, these two just needed to get away from their bridge club to whisper sweet nothings.
Nearby, a woman shits in the street. This symbolism is unclear. But I’m grateful for the diverse and unique ways that others connect with God.
I propped cushions and draped a blanket to be safe from the hospitable elements--the laughter, the bonding, the strengthening over some foolish game.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all conversations are not created equal; that some are boring as hell and a complete waste of time.
10. U: Used by moms in texts across the world. And candy hearts. And Prince. I love Prince. I would die 4 U.
I’m sorry I climbed a utility pole outside during halftime to hang a handmade flag with my team’s logo.
Is there any way to make the heartburn shoot actual flames out of our mouths? That would be a nice party trick.
There are numerous holidays, and some of us will be spending December 25 at a TGI Fridays while their soon to be ex-wife blows the retirement fund.
3 - 5 Years: File a police report against the person who stole your gift. (Two reports allowed per game.)