This Halftime Locker Room Speech Seems as Good a Time as Any to Confess to My Killing Spree
If we look back to the mistakes, the failures, the death mask grimaces of the asphyxiated faces we’ve left behind, then we’ll never move on.
If we look back to the mistakes, the failures, the death mask grimaces of the asphyxiated faces we’ve left behind, then we’ll never move on.
Some of us are in it for the monk-ing and not the "reluctantly helping to investigate a crime despite the suspicion it draws upon themselves"-ing.
I appreciate the new possibilities social media has created, but I worry about what they’re missing out on.
Ma, you hear that? The boys say hi. They're blowing kisses too. Joe "Ice Pick" Angelini says thank you for the chicken cacciatore.
Wait, no, maybe it was his wife who killed his business partner? I don’t know-- someone died, is the gist of it.
I will not condemn this man to death until this jury promises to come see my band this weekend.
- He’s been trying out different mating calls. - You’ve caught him googling “Brown Booby,” “Great Tit,” and “Cock-of-the-Rock.”
Florida resident Kevin Nick reported receipt of a package with a cryptic note reading, “Let me show you the shape of my heart.”
I’m sorry you have broader personal or political issues you haven’t resolved, but those have nothing to do with the ways I’ve been killing you guys.
What’s your motive for second-guessing me every second of every day? Every week, we go through the same rigamarole.
You can provoke me all you want but I'm not going to do anything irrational. Except remove your handcuffs in a parking lot.
Sleep hacks to help you wake up feeling rested, refreshed, and less dreadful about the eternal damnation of your soul.