Money | Page 51 | Points in Case

Tag: Money

Strap your child in tight: no one wants to be jostled in the helicopter mid-air, even if it's a short ride from the Upper East Side to the Hamptons.

Once dressed, I sit at my desk and say a quick prayer to Dionysus. Then I take hold of the mighty pen and let his spirit take hold of my body.

Waking up handcuffed to a deck chair and duck taped to the point of suffocation was exactly what my girlfriend and I needed to stop fighting.

Entertaining guests at the White House, huge part of being president. I drink Diet Coke from cans, but only the best for guests: bottles or fountain.

As crazy as it seems, I believe Star Wars fans felt cheated when the credits rolled and Melinda and I were still on the brink of divorce.

Regarding your autobiography, "The Real Mr. T: I Pity the Fool Who Wears Gold-Plated," this was a hard one for us, but regrettably, we have to pass.

Finally, a list of felonies to perpetrate from your breakfast nook while wearing your snuggliest onesie. Let it snow, let it snow!

I wish my kid could keep the shoes, but my wife got really annoyed about the whole "$120" thing. Happy wife, happy life, am I right?

Expensive these days, having kids and taking care of them. It's hard for parents out there without easy access to affordable child pageants.

Did you hear my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Applebaum passed away? She was only 67. Really makes you appreciate that Halloween mug, doesn't it?

Good afternoon, America! We've recently learned that humor is the best way to break bad news. Good thing the new tax bill is great news!

Here's an incredible statistic: if 100% of people at the brunch paid me back right now, you would never have to hear from me again.