Eulogy for Bernard “Bernie” Lomax
Yes, to the gentleman in the back who just loudly questioned if Bernie is really dead, I assure you he is. This is his funeral. I’m sorry.
Yes, to the gentleman in the back who just loudly questioned if Bernie is really dead, I assure you he is. This is his funeral. I’m sorry.
The anecdote of how you got the Sublime sun tattoo on your arm was, well, compelling, but my wife-to-be has never listened to "40 Oz. to Freedom."
Candidate: (unintelligible) Translation: Probably a profession of love for taco bowls?
Keep in mind: we have a "zero-tolerance policy" on tardiness!
I’m not sure what the hell he’s talking about, but as a practicing clinical psychologist, he probably knows something that I don’t.
D-Mo had made a lot of gains over the past year, but he still had so many gains ahead of him. I guess that’s what makes this so difficult.
My patients are my best friends. Where would I be if they hadn't let me crash on their couches after the mob found out I'm sleeping at my office?
While a Nathan Hale could die but once, I, Wayne LaPierre, must oversee a daily sacrifice nearly five score that many Americans from gun violence.
Citrus: Blood Orange: An orange (Liam Neeson) will team up with soil (Leonardo DiCaprio) to unravel why other oranges in the grove are exploding.
Despite being on a winding mountain road, and wearing noise-cancelling headphones, rise over the wheel, lift your legs, and perform a handstand.
"You'll come following me in the jingle jangle morning," will you? You're going to stalk me? Is that a threat?
Who will have access to your computer after you pass on? Your girlfriend? Your niece? Your grandmother?