My sticker is hilarious because instead of a normie cartoon of my nonexistent wife and darling children, I’ve got two big guns.
My job sucks. Why did I think working at a bar next to a port on a western bay that serves a hundred ships a day would be a good idea?
Medically Speaking, Loneliness Is Just as Deadly as Smoking? So Yeah, You Could Say That I Like to Live on the Wild Side, Baby
Yeah, I’m the Leonardo Da frickin’ Vinci of avoiding meaningful human interactions.
A common bedroom reno tip is to take a fancy trash can—like that gaudy, twisting, fuchsia disaster that Rachel bought—and flip it upside-down.
It has seen someone naked within the past year. / It does not feel like it missed out on buying Bitcoin at a decent price.
Take a moment to become aware of the sounds around you. Tune out your next-door neighbors who won’t stop having elaborate sex.
1 cup unbleached sadness / ½ cup confidence, ground down until it becomes an unrecognizable powder / 2 heaping handfuls unrealized goals, crushed
Sure, I was just a young kid back then, but I don’t really see what else has changed. Is Perfect Dark not badass anymore? Because no one told me.
“Chris,” I said, as a family of five wiped their shoes on his face. “What’re you doing here?” “Muhughuh,” he said, spitting out a piece of dogshit.
I acknowledge that I can change my sweatpants if I want to or I can wear the same ones every day forever and only I have the power to choose.
You have dreams of leaving your hometown for some far away place you can reinvent yourself, some wild and distant land like Minneapolis.
Works hard but makes no money / Loves avocado and salmon breakfasts / Obsessed with filtered water / Goes on many long, sad walks