Timeline of the Socially Anxious Navigating a Summer BBQ
1:37 PM: Host will say that, “things should get cooking here in about 5 minutes!” This will be torture and will leave you craving a cheeseburger.
Tag: Life
Thanks, But You Can Keep Your Active Lifestyle
Did it ever occur to you that maybe leading an active lifestyle doesn’t make you inherently more driven & virtuous? Maybe it just makes you sweatier.
6 Trendy Summer Bags for the Nuclear Football
The New American Waistland Fanny: For successful Dads who love America, spend a lot of time in Florida, but don’t have an ironic bone in their body.
Passive-Aggressive BuzzFeed Quizzes Written By Your Mom
"Poll: Are you mad at me? Because your sister insinuated some things you might’ve told her about me…"
“Forrest Gump” or Jonestown?
"Oh, now, don't you be afraid, sweetheart. Death is just a part of life. It's something we're all destined to do."
HGTV Announces “The Joyce Byers Complete Home Makeover Show”
Witness participants’ dreams of a new home go unfulfilled as they contend with Joyce’s dismantling of their house to find her missing son, Will.
The Grievances of Punxsutawney Phil
The way I'm held when I'm hoisted in the air sort of digs into my ribs. I'd be interested in exploring some other hoisting techniques.
Junior Level Wonka.com Hacker Secrets Revealed
I wasn’t ever good enough to win a high score, but I found my satisfaction in changing these poor kids’ passwords so they could never log in and play.
The Unique Horror of Tim Ryan
Stand there waiting, hoping, an impossible, misplaced hope, that the moderators will not think to call on him.
Your Aunty Linda’s a Creative Now, Too
I order Café Olés now in neighboring towns (to get away from all the darn-doodlin’ neighbors clouding my rediscovered creative energy!)
10 Under “This Many”: Meet the Toddlers Who are Crushing Cannes
Mabel has seen it all. She started in shapes, but quickly moved onto colors before being promoted to Creative Director within a year.
New Monoculture Candidates
"Aja": Such an underrated Steely Dan album. “Deacon Blues” and “Peg” as back-to-back tracks? Come on.