The Twisted Christmas Miracle in the Woods
As I stood in the woods digging the hole to bury the old man, I realized he wasn't quite dead. And that's when he told me a story of Christmas I'll never forget.
Tag: Holidays
Now That’s What I Call Christmas! Vol. 1
Things I want for Christmas: Jeremy Sisto's voice, Leonardo DiCaprio's hair, Karen Filippelli (assuming she's still single), Gift cards, Maybe some DVDs, Robert Downey Jr.'s aura.
Halloween Headaches 2011
A true revelation occurred when a friend said, "Dude, you're wearing jeans and a red flannel and you have a huge beard, why didn't you just do Super Mario?"
Boner Costumes: The Abbreviated Version
Speaking of Halloween costumes, it's kind of my favorite thing to come up with, especially phallic puns. This year I've decided to go as Premature Ejaculating Santa.
4 Holidays That Should Be Abolished
Holidays are supposed to be wondrous occasions to celebrate, but for the most part, a few come to mind that should be abolished and permanently etched off calendars worldwide.
Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2011
2011 has the potential to be great. But first we need better WikiLeaks, another apocalypse, a rehabed Lindsay Lohan, and the death of Betty White.
Why I Always Cook Dinner on Christmas
It's nice to save my mom the work and let her relax on Christmas, but really, that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the benefits of manning the kitchen.
The Book of Christmas Revelation
<p><strong>A reading from the Letter of Saint Nicholas to the Grinchians:</strong></p><p>And the Sixth Angel broke the Sixth Seal and did release strange creatures, which did solemnly look not unto like a bunch of really high people cosplaying at a Comic Con. </p>
Christmas Awesome List
I love Christmas, and not just because it falls on my birthday. Here are ten Christmas experiences from most awesome to least awesome.
The Top 3 Women to Date Over the Holidays
I've done the footwork for you and narrowed it down to the top three women that are perfect to date this holiday season; think of these as product reviews for pussy.
Halloween Headaches 2010
<p>Every Halloween I judge people and their costumes. This year I'm nine days late because it's taken that long for me to get over the Halloween beer, soju (Korean liquid death), and whiskey binge I encountered.</p>
Pre-Halloween Headaches
<p><img src="/files/u46/oct_31_09_2_021.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="300" /><br /><strong><em>(Beam me up, Scotty!)</em></strong></p><p>It's the first week of October and you know what that means...only two and a half months to shop until Christmas! Also, you should already start looking for a Halloween costume. And like<a href="/columns/nathan-degraaf"> Nate Degraaf</a>, I'm here to help.</p>