Santa Baby, I’m a Materialistic Whore
What we've got here is Madonna, singing in a little girl voice to what could only be construed as her dad, dressed up as Santa. Or in other words, "GROSS, DUDE."
Tag: Holidays
The 5 Stages of Going Home for Thanksgiving
If you're in the same sinking ship I like to call the "S.S. Thanksgiving Return," then here are the five stages you'll probably endure on your way to the gravy boat.
Five Alternatives to Microwaving Your Thanksgiving Turkey
Unfortunately, you can't microwave a turkey. It just won't fit! So here are your options for preparing the most important piece of your holiday puzzle.
Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2013
I for one am looking forward to watching The Vampire Diaries while fantasizing about Nina Dobrev without Mitt Romney or Barack Obama interrupting my salacious thoughts.
Staying at Home with Kevin: A Korean Christmas Tradition
Have a very merry Home Alone Christmas in Korea.
The Illicit Meaning Behind the Lyrics to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”
It's time to overanalyze another Christmas song that you'll NEVER EVER be able to hear again without your mind going to a very dark place.
The Two Thousand Twelve Days of Christmas
A much-needed revision to the outdated gifts from the Christmas classic. Hell, even a song about gifts in 2005 would be long obsolete given our demand for the latest in supply.
Frankenturkey: A Thanksgiving Book Report
From Betsy Haynes, critically acclaimed author of a bunch of dumb shit my girlfriend reads, comes this chilling thrill ride masterpiece of absolute crap from the year of our lord, 1994.
Halloween Headaches 2012
Being white, handsome, and taller than most locals, being disguised as Super Mario made me the most talked about item in Korean history.
Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2012
Finally, we can enjoy the fall of North Korea, another plethora of "I Voted" stickers, and the most highly publicized apocalyptic failure in history. You're alright, 2012.
Things We Won’t Get for Christmas 2011
Even as kids we knew Santa couldn't get us everything we wanted. So today, 28 PIC writers gather to unleash their personal "shit they know they're not going to get" lists.
Christmas with the Kardashians (Black Tar Prophecies, Vol. 2)
My name is Copernicus Thunderbird, and we're all fucked if Christmas goes down the way I think it will. What you need to understand is that the Kardashians are going to destroy Earth.