The kids seem to want a chemistry kit, an iPhone, and a Kylie Jenner lip-gloss contraption. Santa will be furious with their capitalistic greed.
Hello to everyone out there in cyberspace, it's me, Brock Yeager, international daredevil extraordinaire with more crazy, death-defying stunts!
As part of white collar drug treatment program, baristas serve liquid methadone lattes on G train. Every other Thursday, system-wide Backwards Day.
Focus on a few key accomplishments that highlight your strengths: Were you responsible for major bloodshed at your last position? An innovative new flaying technique?
An Open Letter to My Neighbors Who Insist on Hanging a Scary Clown Decoration from a Tree Over the Sidewalk Every October
I'm not going to say that the clown is FRIGHTENING, since I'm an adult and being afraid of a Halloween decoration would be silly. But take it down, ok?
I thought I was good at dressing my body like a burlap sack of potatoes, but I have been outdone! Women are all just floating heads with robot arms.
Before my pen even outlines his dirty, filthy Dilbert clothing, I draw the Dilbert naked first. To preserve his essence. To preserve his purity.
What you never learned is that you're a replaceable peon, your career means nothing, your marriage will fail, and nobody loves you. Don't worry though, you were a mistake to begin with.
From 150 miles under the bandstand of Toms River, NJ, a demon explains what it's like to be a timeshare telemarketer in Hell.
Something extremely odd and unsettling happened with the Cowboys this year. We all know what, but the question is "HOW??"
Gone are the days of sitting around nervously waiting for that quiet nutcase to shoot up a public space. Now a single kit can test for the devil!
Dear Summer Internship, thank you for giving me something to do during the daytime. Masturbation was getting old. That said, I have to address a few issues since I started working here...