Guides | Page 18 | Points in Case

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Step Five: Start having doubts about your tattoo, which is looking more and more like a colorable stencil on a paper placemat for kids

Pick teams with orange as one of their colors. Orange doesn’t rhyme with anything, and neither does victory.

BrickUp developed bricks large enough to destroy data centers, but small enough to conceal from evil clones of Regis Philbin.

The queen travels around the board very fast, knocking over the other pieces, sometimes singing "Let It Go" from Disney’s Frozen.

You’ve sworn you’ve heard the unmistakable “thunk” of a peg-leg issuing from their mic on more than one Zoom call.

Uber Parents: Be too readily available, allowing your children to summon you at any hour of the day or night.

If you devote even an hour to cooking, odds are one of your kids will end up in the emergency room. Again!

Never Posts in the Group Chat Guy: A true live-only act. He might answer a text if you get sick.

My response time is immediate. Sometimes I respond to texts before I even get them.

Thanks to their tapering form, carrots are a real bitch to peel and cut up without slicing a finger. They are an accident waiting to happen.

Time to swallow that unearned pride and make a purchase that would make every single member of your family deeply ashamed.

Test the vitality of your brain’s grid-mapping cells by devising an elaborate escape route.