The Twisty-Pop® Popcorn Maker Secrets to Great Popcorn
Your new Twisty-Pop® stove-top popcorn maker pops superior popcorn. Before you start popping, take a moment to try the leading microwaveable brand. Not going to do it, are you?
Tag: Food
The Burger Kingdom is Your Destiny
Ready for the fast-paced exciting world of fast food? Burger king is looking for new talent! Fill out this application to get started right away!
Restaurants are People, Too
A realistic assessment of you, the asshole customer, from the perspective of the most under-appreciated people in a restaurant, the kitchen staff.
Half Cuban, 100% White
I'm a halfie: my mother is Cuban and my father is American. I'm not brown, I'm not white… I'm fucking khaki. And it sucks. Here's why.
Why I Always Cook Dinner on Christmas
It's nice to save my mom the work and let her relax on Christmas, but really, that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the benefits of manning the kitchen.
How to Be the Worst Drive-Thru Customer Ever
I make minimum wage at a dead end job. Part of my job includes interacting with you. This means my job fucking sucks. Here's how you can make it worse.
A Letter Regarding My Service at the Happy Valley Restaurant cum Carvery
Dear Sirs, it is only on hindsight that I am truly able to appreciate my server Nigel's innovative style, which others felt made him a 'cheeky bastard.'
Marcus vs. the KFC Double Down
Colonel Sanders learns the hard way that you never play chicken with a sandwich unless you're willing to eat it in the end.
The Ten Fattest States in the Union (And the Foods That Got Them There)
<p><img src="/files/u2/junk-food-platter.jpg" alt="Junk food platter" hspace="5" vspace="5" width="200" height="257" align="right" />Back when I first started writing for this site there were no iPhones, New Orleans had never been destroyed, and PIC Fearless Leader Court Sullivan had the same haircut he has today.
Dunkin’ Donuts’ Coffee Burned My Soul
I am suing the crap out of Dunkin' Donuts. I don't really have a choice. Their coffee burned my soul and they are going to pay dearly for it.
Gratuitous Mention: Tipping is Dead
If a waitress has a problem with her salary, she should take it up with her boss. Why should I compensate her for having a shitty job?
No, I Will Not Eat at Applebee’s, Thank You
To me, Applebee’s represents the muddling down of all cultures, to create meals that cater to everyone, and in doing so satisfy no one.