My Weekend at Uncle Trader Joe’s Cabin in the Woods
On Friday, we hiked to a secluded waterfall, and Uncle Trader Joe held my clothes while I showered with Tea Tree Tingle Shampoo and Body Wash.
Tag: Food
Welcome to Café Douchebag
You are cordially invited to the grand opening of Café Douchebag, the hottest restaurant openly pandering to the douchebag lifestyle.
No Surprise, You Just Screwed Up Your Starbucks Order Again
Crap! Crap! Crap! Brain, you idiot, what did you just do? You don't want soymilk. Why did you say that? Ok, you can fix this, THINK...
Seriously, Why Do Humans Only Have Five Senses?
In theory there could be infinite ways to experience a given object, but we are limited to just five. Sup with that?
10 Fast Food Items That Could End Your Life
A partial list of deadly menu items being added by fast food chains everywhere, as catalogued by the Department of Homeland Security.
Hey, Have You Heard About Sushis?
Have you heard about sushis yet? It's the hottest new food trend, served cold and eaten with chopsticks. Stranger than that, it’s actually made of raw fish.
How to Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
One has many obstacles to surmount when constructing the proper peanut butter (PB) and jelly (J) sandwich. Failure to plan properly may result in dangerous consequences.
The National Burger Ban
"Eating an occasional value meal is fine, but super-sizing it simply puts you and others in danger," a Big Mac spokesman elaborated.
How the Internet Ruined Hot Dogs for Everyone
According to the internet, hot dogs are trying to kill everyone. But how much merit does the viral news of the hot dog's tendency to cancerify children's bodies carry?
How to Have Your Food and Not Pay for It Too
I’m a foodie at heart, but I’m cheap and lazy in reality. With a bit of elbow grease and macaroni, I’ve figured out a way to both have my free cake and eat it to excess.
Communion Would Be a Lot More Popular with Oreos
If this is all symbolic anyway, then why can't the church bless a package of Oreos and distribute them accordingly? You'd see more children paying attention.
Subversive McDonald’s Employee Serves Breakfast at 11:02 AM
<p>18-year-old Katie Lawrence sent a splash of hot oil through the fast food industry today when she fulfilled a customer's request for an Egg White Delight, even though breakfast service had ended two minutes earlier.</p>