If you participate in one or more of the following 8 actions or behaviors, you are a monster, and you are cordially invited to eat fast food for the rest of your pathetic life.
After consuming your marijuana or other THC-laced product, find a comfortable seat in your residence and prepare for a flood of serotonin.
This morning I set out to reinvent the concept of chili. I went to the grocery store without a map, because recipes are for cowards, and cooking is an act of violent creation.
When I think of food, I don't think of a rectangular chunk that looks like a gargoyle with a square asshole shit it out. Or a meal that looks like a bunch of scabs swimming in a puddle of whale semen.
Dive into innovative and edible salads like The Kevin (lettuce show you how), or spend the night with Kevin Once Stayed at the Waldorf Salad (expensive).
Your new Twisty-Pop® stove-top popcorn maker pops superior popcorn. Before you start popping, take a moment to try the leading microwaveable brand. Not going to do it, are you?
Ready for the fast-paced exciting world of fast food? Burger king is looking for new talent! Fill out this application to get started right away!
A realistic assessment of you, the asshole customer, from the perspective of the most under-appreciated people in a restaurant, the kitchen staff.
I'm a halfie: my mother is Cuban and my father is American. I'm not brown, I'm not white… I'm fucking khaki. And it sucks. Here's why.
It's nice to save my mom the work and let her relax on Christmas, but really, that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the benefits of manning the kitchen.
I make minimum wage at a dead end job. Part of my job includes interacting with you. This means my job fucking sucks. Here's how you can make it worse.
Dear Sirs, it is only on hindsight that I am truly able to appreciate my server Nigel's innovative style, which others felt made him a 'cheeky bastard.'