One especially pleasing development is how Grandpa has started taking responsibility for his actions.
I don’t need to remind you about the “Flower Pot Fiasco," the “Macaroni Art Disaster," or the “I Thought It Wasn’t Until Next Month” flop.
When Lisa got bored and snuck a peek at the cobwebs, Julie told everyone about Lisa’s crush on your dandruffy history teacher.
QUARTER-BIRTHDAY: We'll kick things off with a low-key brunch nine months in advance of my birthday.
Your war gets into Yale, just like its father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. Your war is a C student, just like its father.
Yes, I sold ad space at the end of that paragraph. Yes, I know that the end of the first paragraph is traditionally where the humorous premise goes.
For those of us over 60, cards could say, “Congratulations on outwitting the grim reaper, keep up the good work!”
I love you, mom. But as I comb through CVS's cards, I wonder: Are you worth the $7 I'm forking out for glitter, cheap puns, and a 12-second clip of "La Bamba"?
As you guys know, our friend, companion, Supreme Autocrat, and dynamite singer Kim Jong-Un is having a birthday in a few weeks. What are you guys' thoughts on a party?
My niece is seven, and half-birthday parties are barely acceptable for her. And she’s a goddamn princess. Are you a princess, Lou?
I've been arrested for protesting clear-cutting and punching a security guard in the dick. When my Mom answers, she asks why the caller ID says "Humboldt County Jail."
Baby shower timing is important. Too late and Rosemary may be dead after the Antichrist rips out of her stomach. Too soon and she'll have no baby bump to sport!