Five Places I’ve Had to Call My Mother From on Her Birthday
I've been arrested for protesting clear-cutting and punching a security guard in the dick. When my Mom answers, she asks why the caller ID says "Humboldt County Jail."
Tag: Birthdays
Four Tips for Hosting Rosemary’s Baby Shower
Baby shower timing is important. Too late and Rosemary may be dead after the Antichrist rips out of her stomach. Too soon and she'll have no baby bump to sport!
Your Facebook Birthday Wishes Explained By Time Posted
It can often be difficult to figure out the true meaning behind people posting "happy birthday" on your wall. But by looking at the times of each post, you can dissect the situation.
A Misfit Looks at Thirty
So here it is, the big one. The thirtieth birthday. Tomorrow I become socially, culturally and sexually irrelevant.
Christmas Birthday Pros and Cons
Christmas Birthday Pros and Cons
Happy Freaking Birthday
Your 21st birthday is momentous. After that, you'll be lucky if friends remember your birthday, more or less force alcohol down your throat.