TSA Guidelines for National Clown Week
Provide your real name. Slappy, Mr. Chuckles, Giggle Master, Miss Jiggles-a-Lot, and Happy Pappy are not legal names we recognize.
Tag: Airplanes
Boarding Announcements for the Class Conscious
If you are an emperor, tsar, sultan, raja, or king and wield unconditional power over trembling masses, their majesties are kindly invited to board.
Patriotic Airlines Presents Mega-Patriot Credit Cards
In the event of a water landing, beneath your seat is a compartment that contains a credit card application in a waterproof pouch.
6 Reasons Santa Claus is Now Called Jeff Bezos
All I need is for Bezos to read my kids a bedtime story and I will be up for the 2018 award for disconnected dad of the year.
Help! My Emotional Support Python is Killing Me!
Maybe, if you roll up your in-flight magazine and hit him really hard on the nose with your free hand--- Oh, Saint Jude! He’s unhinged his jaw now…
This Isn’t an Oversized Carry On, It’s My Emotional Support Luggage
We’ve only known each other for a short period, which can be quantified as “just shy of Costco’s return policy,” but we’ve formed a intimate bond.
New Economy Seating Options at United Airlines
Our Economy Basic passengers are seated in a section of the plane teeming with luxury-hungry wolves, starving for cherished Basic ticket-holders.
What to Make of America’s 2018 Olympic Men’s Curling Gold?
Facing 20 to 1 underdog odds, the American Men's Curling team somehow took down powerhouses like Canada and Roomba for the gold medal.
The Adventure of Mom and Toddler to the Airport Gate
My two-year-old then "dove" towards the airport floor, arms straight behind her as Moana's are when she swims down for the heart of Te Fiti.
How to Helicopter Parent for the 1% Under the New Tax Bill
Strap your child in tight: no one wants to be jostled in the helicopter mid-air, even if it's a short ride from the Upper East Side to the Hamptons.
The 7 Sexiest Airport Departure Lounges in Florida
For all you thrill-seekers planning your next naughty weekend in the Sunshine State, here's our definitive visitor's guide to the sexiest airport departure lounges in Florida.
Flying High in the Xanax Skies
Where was I? How high is high? Why was I sitting there? Had I been sleeping the whole time? Is all of life a dream, as Descartes once suggested?