Did You Forget Your Password, You Stupid Bitch?
Security question: What is your maternal grandmother’s first name? We know you paused to remember which side maternal is, you unlearned horse’s ass.
Security question: What is your maternal grandmother’s first name? We know you paused to remember which side maternal is, you unlearned horse’s ass.
“I’m not racist,” I say, laughing. “The first guy who sexually assaulted me was white.”
"Senior": You’re over 70 and must get your pills organized in that little plastic box with the SMTWTFS lids.
There can be a hundred people in a hundred different rooms and none of them believe in you. Sometimes things just work out like that.
3) What did you get Aunt Peggy for Christmas? a. A big box of steering clear. b. Well, she would have wanted me to get myself something nice.
I doubt it would cook up an abundance of hate to overpower the abundance of love. It would be so not like the universe to fuck with abundance.
In order to allow our company's pop-up confirmshaming to get right to the point, we have dropped all pretense in our online buttons.
We just can’t continue on like this without telling everyone we know that we can’t continue on like this.
Colorblock Windbreaker: You wear this athletic fit ironically because you are actually a struggling improv performer.
Twenty-first Amendment (Abolition of Prohibition) This former frat-bro is a highly functioning alcoholic. Currently a member of the federal judiciary.
This guy did not go to our high school. Who is this guy? Does anyone know who he is? He’s not someone’s spouse is he? Is he from our hometown though?
I mean what kind of shitty time traveler would quantum leap wearing a “Wherever I May Roam” T-shirt from the most kick-ass thrash metal concert ever?