Dear Ms. Johnson,
I am writing you this letter to cordially thank you for meeting with me on the 2nd of December and allowing me to interview for the In-Home Caretaker position at the North Star Retirement Cottages. I appreciate you taking the time to meet with me and look forward to working with you in the future and again thank you for the opportunity.
I would also like to take this time to apologize for a few things I didn't, at the time, realize were in bad taste. I have just relocated to Chicago from Philadelphia and there are a few regional colloquialisms that may have made parts of our interview uncomfortable. In the spirit of maturity and professionalism, I thought I would address them in this letter so that we might be able to put them behind us so and move forward with no friction if we choose to work together in a professional environment.
I am from Philadelphia and the word "spic" is part of the vernacular there.First, I would like to apologize if my behavior was, interpreted by you or your staff as, "inappropriate." As we know now from the court-ordered blood test, I was in fact slightly intoxicated at the time of the interview. Job interviews make me nervous so I had a few drinks to unwind beforehand. I know now what my limits are in regards to drinking and will never again drink Grey Goose and Gatorade out of a milk jug before an interview. Some people can pull it off; I can't. I know this now.
I also apologize for vomiting in your desk drawer. I was just feeling sick from all the pushups. And yes, you were right about that as well, showing you how many pushups I could do was not relevant to the job or even appropriate for that matter. Once again, I was nervous, intoxicated, and eager to impress you.
Second, I have to tell you that I did not mean those things I said about people of Hispanic heritage. I am from Philadelphia and the word "spic" is part of the vernacular there. In my neighborhood, the word spic is just like the word man or dude. But again, you were right, looking back now I realize the word was irrelevant given the context of the statement.
"Well there ain't no way I'm touchin' one of them nasty wetback dudes, goin' home every night smelling like tamales. I hate dudes so much!" So I get your point. I did not mean for it to come across in a disparaging way. Again, I have to blame my anxiety and intoxication.
I would also like to apologize for bringing a handgun to the interview—I realize now that this was in poor taste. But you have to understand, I am from Philadelphia and everyone has a gun there. In fact, in large spans of the country, it's considered patriotic to be generally armed in a professional atmosphere. However, I make no excuses for brandishing the weapon in an attempt to intimidate the others who were interviewing that day; that was simply uncalled for. I also apologize for pointing the gun at you. In truth, however, it was only a .22 caliber, hardly powerful enough to kill a person (this, of course, excluding a headshot).
Again let me say it, I'm sorry. And I want you to know that this is a sincere apology. Even though this letter is court-ordered, I want you to know I mean every word in it and I really hope we can get a chance to work together in the future, hopefully between 18 and 24 months depending on behavior.
Thank you for your time.
Inmate No: 45781B
Cook County Correctional Institution
Chicago IL, 60622