The latest posts from all humor columns. Everyday Artists | PIC Newspaper | First Lecture | Simon Says
Simon says tell your neighbor you never touched her butt, and she must be imagining things. This is "gaslighting" and will come in handy someday.
Step right up. Rummage around. Bring your money. You're invited to my first-time-ever, never-gonna-happen-again, going-out-of-business driveway and backyard sale.
It's the most demanding, stressful, scary, humbling, embarrassing and brutally honest test of your strength of character and ability to fight through pain to finish a race.
A huge part of the reason you don't see very many truly good items in Goodwills is that they all get taken and put on an online auction house in the vain of a shittier eBay.
You want value from words. You want to be enriched. You don’t want people wasting your time. If this goes on for one more paragraph, you will stop reading.
I get that a lot of languages sound silly when translated literally, but German really takes the cake. Here are ten hilariously adorable German words into English.
"At the end of the day" is, at the end of the day, one of those phrases like "it is what it is" that we need to eradicate from our daily lives.
A three-on-three volleyball game is about to start in the sand only a seashell's toss from the Trump Ocean. Ben Carson, John Kasich, Marco Rubio, and Chris Christie are there.
I work at a thrift shop. If it isn't clearly stated by word of law that it is illegal to sell something, we will slap a price tag on it and try to convince you that you need it.
Your life will be more frustrating than you could ever imagine. It is endless agony. Decapitation is the only answer. Off with your head.
Make sure there is tension and discomfort between every person you invite that has either never been addressed or won’t be resolved.
Ebay's most useful feature, outside of actually buying and selling things, is the "highest first" price filter for item searches. Welcome to the lifestyles of the rich and dumb.