The latest posts from all humor columns and their contributors. First Lecture | Simon Says
Some of the most popular shows on TV right now, and of the last couple years, I've never seen, and likely never will. Here's what I think they're about though.
Did you hear the one about the woman who was engaged to a man who decided to marry CrossFit instead? Settle in, I'll tell you her story.
These penis terms came from my brain, others' brains, and all over, and now they're all here for you, in all of their stiff, veiny glory.
I should probably tell the biggest news of all: I am SO totally over any and everything Twilight-related. I'm also a Taylor Swifter and new home- and dog-owner.
The people over at PornHub decided to get together and throw all of the porn search terms accrued from all of their sites and just stream them live. Enjoy!
Welcome to reunion weekend. Come catch up with people who didn't make an effort to stay in touch, but claim to love you nonetheless.
While it's important to remain hopeful about your romantic future, it's more important to be realistic: nothing is going to work out like a Nick Sparks screenplay.
Just like my last surgery, this one was scheduled to run between 60 and 90 minutes, but wound up clocking in at just under 300.
If this is all symbolic anyway, then why can't the church bless a package of Oreos and distribute them accordingly? You'd see more children paying attention.
The surgeon had to call in heads of two medical departments to figure out what the hell to do. The agreed solution? Just ram the bone in and put the metal back on.
I suck at climbing stairs so much that I break bones and get sent to the hospital with an ankle so fucked up it requires MULTIPLE surgeries... the German way.
One day soon you will wake up and all of your friends will have babies. And you will think, "But we haven't gone to New Zealand or the Playboy Mansion Party yet!"