>>> About Last Night…
By staff writer Ali Wisch
June 15, 2005

What happened to the player? Where did the big man on campus go? I know these are not questions typical of 19- and 20-year-old college girls, however these are questions that have been popping up on campuses across the nation.

It seems that recently there has been a surge of commitment-ready college boys/stalkers and I’m not going to lie, it’s a little bit scary. Guy’s have been calling…a lot, they’ve been getting mad when we don’t pick up our phones or call them back, they’ve been wanting to hang out…all the time, and it’s a little too much to handle.

We have been raised to know what to expect from the typical college boy. The “do and ditch,” the “lost your number,” the “poker night with guys (coughstripclubcough),” and no, these lines are not cool, not cool at all. However, we’ve spent the given amount of time shedding tears over the asshole guys who we thought will never change and have finally reached the crossroads where we can deal with it. We have the books (He’s Just Not That Into You), we have the movies (How to Lose a Guy In Ten Days), and college girls are in an enjoyable place. In our minds we have shed the needy reputations that girls of the past have marked us with, and we can deal with it if a guy doesn’t call us back. We don’t sit by the phone anymore…and if we do, we're usually doing something other than trying to use ESP to get it to ring.

“Trust me, we are in a new era where if a girl is into you, she will let you know it.”

I don’t know what has happened to this generation of males but they are a breed I am unfamiliar with. You can’t just kiss guys anymore. You can’t write your number down on a napkin. Guys think girls are needy? We give you our number and it’s like you’ve misinterpreted it as the key to our soul. Don’t get me wrong, we love attention, obviously, but the right kind of attention. Calling a girl five times a day isn’t going to get you anywhere besides the courthouse where you will be signing a restraining order. Trust me, we are in a new era where if a girl is into you, she will let you know it. We’re not standing in the corner waiting for you to come ask us to dance, we’re grabbing your butt if we want to get your attention (we’ve probably had one or two drinks but there’s nothing wrong with an ice-breaker), and we can handle it if your just not that into us. So please, chill out.

I wish someone would tell me who the girl was who told the first guy that we like it when they follow us to parties and show up at our dorm rooms at random hours of the night. I might kick that girl in the shins. There is a very thin line between showing interest in a girl and stalking—and trust me, you don’t want to cross that line. Crossing that line will not only be something you will surely regret, but it will make the chances of landing another girl at your school very very slim. It’s not that all we do is gossip, it’s just that we look out for each other. You don’t want to be “Wait you mean the stalker kid?” guy.

You can take this with a grain of salt though, I’m not telling you to turn back into the jackasses who disappear in the morning after a hot night, I’m telling you not to be the guy who is still there for dinner that evening and then asks if I believe in soul mates. We’re all just looking to have a good time, so relax, smoke a cigarette, throw back a beer or two with your buddies, and sit by your phone for a change. Because we’ll call you when we’re ready.