Useless Yard Sale: You’re Invited
Step right up. Rummage around. Bring your money. You're invited to my first-time-ever, never-gonna-happen-again, going-out-of-business driveway and backyard sale.
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The Olympic Sport That Transcends the World
It's the most demanding, stressful, scary, humbling, embarrassing and brutally honest test of your strength of character and ability to fight through pain to finish a race.
The 8 Weirdest Things for Sale on Goodwill Online
A huge part of the reason you don't see very many truly good items in Goodwills is that they all get taken and put on an online auction house in the vain of a shittier eBay.
Words Have No Meaning—Take This Article for Example
You want value from words. You want to be enriched. You don’t want people wasting your time. If this goes on for one more paragraph, you will stop reading.
German is a Lazy Language
I get that a lot of languages sound silly when translated literally, but German really takes the cake. Here are ten hilariously adorable German words into English.
Ending “At the End of the Day”
"At the end of the day" is, at the end of the day, one of those phrases like "it is what it is" that we need to eradicate from our daily lives.
Trump Beach Volleyball
A three-on-three volleyball game is about to start in the sand only a seashell's toss from the Trump Ocean. Ben Carson, John Kasich, Marco Rubio, and Chris Christie are there.
Six Stories from Working at a Southern Thrift Shop
I work at a thrift shop. If it isn't clearly stated by word of law that it is illegal to sell something, we will slap a price tag on it and try to convince you that you need it.
Why You Should Decapitate Yourself
Your life will be more frustrating than you could ever imagine. It is endless agony. Decapitation is the only answer. Off with your head.
Invite People You Don’t Like to Your Super Bowl Party
Make sure there is tension and discomfort between every person you invite that has either never been addressed or won’t be resolved.