The fact that there are attractive, promiscuous women out there who bounce from one sexually unfulfilling relationship to another is part of the reason why I bother making money.

When one of your male friends suggests a body spray or cologne for you, well, it’s probably not a good sign.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, four hours of uninterrupted post-coital sleep beats ten hours of post-drinking sleep any night.

All right, no one has asked so I guess I have to be the one to do it. Why didn’t Velcro tennis shoes catch on? It’s easier than tying shoes, right?

I was reading Details Magazine in a salon while waiting for my $25 haircut when I came across an article about how the male chromosome (the y chromosome) is degenerating more with each generation, and how genetics may be playing a part in causing this whole metrosexual movement. I thought that was totally absurd until I realized that I was reading Details Magazine. In a salon. While waiting for a $25 haircut. You may feel free to bitch slap me on sight.

Here are the top five best things that the male host of a dinner can say.

1. You want a beer?
2. You a football fan?
3. How do you like your steak cooked?
4. I have free passes to that strip club. You want some?
5. Dude, I have the most complete double d porn collection ever. And I mean, ever.

And finally, because this is another one of those entries where I shave logic and fluidity from my head, only to watch them fall on the floor and be swept up by a 16 year old girl, I leave you with the following, which I overheard during a heated discussion at the Classy Dance Bar:

“Look, I only cheated on you while I was out of town. What’s the big deal?”

And yes, a woman said that. God bless America.

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