Nate and myself are blogging during the baseball playoffs. Not that any of you are reading anyway. I can say whatever I want. Watch me. I don't like Chinks. See that?
Nate's thoughts on the LCSes in progress:
Hey, the Cardinals won a game in the NLCS. Who'd have thought. Every time So Taguchi does something important for us, my first thought is, “holy shit, that was unlikely.” My second thought is, “I wonder what the funniest headline would be with the word So in it.” If it were up to me, my headline would be, “So You Fucked up and Let a Skinny Japanese Guy Beat You.”
Needless to say, I'm excited.
And how about the As? Apparently, they have not been informed that they're playing the Tigers. Someone should let them in on it.
Dude, just so you know, after I graduated college I worked as a gym membership salesman/personal trainer for six months before I found a real gig. Enjoy the unemployment, or as Joe Morgan would say, “When you're unemployed, that just means you're not working. It also means no money is coming in. But you are also not working.”
What do I have to do to get Tim McCarver off my TV? Just say it, and I'll do it.
For no particlar reason, my top five baseball movies in order from best to worst: Major League, The Natural, Eight Men Out, Bull Durham and Bad News Bears. Your thoughts?
And now my thoughts:
First off, congratulations to the Tigers and especially their fans. Call me sick, but I like fans that riot and Tigers fans seem like they're just looking for an excuse to set fire to public property. Hey I'll take that over those douchebags in Anaheim who watch the game from a hot tub in the right field grandstands anytime.
Not like Oakland had a chance anyway. Before Game 4, Eric Chavez was quoted as saying “We've run into a better team” and when the 2004 Red Sox was brought up, he said “We don't have David Ortiz.” Wow. Way to believe. Wouldn't it suck to be friends with him if you were terminally ill? He'd be like “Wow, heard you've got a real bad cancer, I doubt you're going to live. Medicine really ain't gonna do shit.”
I also don't even see a point in continuing the NLCS. The Tigers are going to demolish whatever pile of crap comes from that league anyway. Maybe the Cards and Mets should pool their players together just to maybe avoid a sweep.
Speaking of the NLCS, you gotta love how Mets fans don't feel even remotely safe when Billy Wagner takes the mound. Just what you want from an $11 million closer.
If FOX can bring Luis Gonzalez onboard as a colorman when they already have McCarver, and Gonzalez is head and shoulders more articulate and intelligent, then why have McCarver? Imagine if you worked at McDonalds and you kept sneezing on McNuggets and couldn't tell Big Macs from Whoppers, so your boss brought in someone who did your job like a thousand times better, wouldn't you be fired? It can't be that hard to run a business.
Speaking of announcers, I have one serious question about Steve Lyons' firing. For those who don't know, Lyons was fired for mocking Lou Pinella's Hispanic heritage. After Lyons heard Pinella speak Spanish, he said “Hey, I can't find my wallet.” So my question is this: Lou Pinella is Hispanic? How? He looks like my Uncle Bob and has a mouth like a Scorsese villain.
I can't take Scott Spiezio seriously so long as he has that weird pink chin pube thing. What the fuck is that? He looks like he just ate a plate of Troll dolls.
Top five baseball movies: 1. Major League 2. The Sandlot 3. Field of Dreams 4. Rookie of the Year 5. The last ten minutes of the Natural; everything else is spectacularly boring pap.
And finally, thanks to one of my readers for this priceless, and woefully too soon crack at Cory Lidle.
Q: How do you know AROD wasn't flying Lidle's plane?
A: He can't hit anything in October.
Ahh we're all going to Hell.