Do you think Michael Moore showered today?

Or is he gonna do a ‘double-shower' tomorrow?

Isn't going out in the rain an adequate shower alternative?


Do you think Michael Moore did anything productive today?

Isn't masturbating alone in your dark apartment sorta productive?

I mean you DID something.


Do you think Michael Moore ate anything off the food pyramid today that doesn't say ‘Use Sparingly' next to it?

Aren't Lay's chips basically potatos?

And those big watermelon Laffy Taffys with the seeds in them HAVE to be a fruit.


Do you think Michael Moore did any work on his next documentary today?

Putting up hidden cameras in women's bathrooms is considered documentary, right? Like exposing women……..'s issues.

He's not a disgusting pervert!


Do you think Michael Moore exercised today?

Don't you lose weight from eating celery or something?

I think there was celery in those Big Macs he had for breakfast.


Do you think Michael Moore shaved today?

Wait…don't girls like beards or something?

He's just gonna let it grow for a couple months, see what happens. Sure it's like three different colors and really dirty, things are probably decaying inside of it, but didn't I hear girls like things decomposing in beards or something?


Do you think Michael Moore ever goes to the dentist?

I mean when you get down to it, isn't it kind of an unproven field of medicine, dentistry?

Plus I hear brushing your teeth with that Fun Dip stuff keeps cavities away.