I have been debating the issue of whether or not I should have been born a woman. I have an extremely cute, well-shaped ass, soft lips, a very feminine figure, I look damn good in mascara, and I handle a vacuum like it was embedded in my genetics.

I constantly think what it would be like to have a vagina. If I had said vagina, I would stand in front of the mirror and admire it. I would dedicate one hour a day to just staring at myself in the mirror. I assume girls do this anyway, and since I already do it now, the transition wouldn't be too difficult.

Plus, I think small breasts are very sexy, and I already have petite breasts, so I wouldn't need any breast enhancement surgery. I have perfect nipples. They're nice and tiny. They don't stick out too far, and I don't have dinner plate nipples. They're also right in the middle of my breasts, and not awkwardly placed like some people.

So I figured I would announce my plans to get a sex change operation. I feel like at this point in my life it would be the right thing to do. I can then pursue my dream of being a lesbian porn star. I'm quitting school, flying out to California, and getting a new vagina installed. I think this could also could be a great step into furthering my porn career. It's way to hard to get work as a male, unless you do gay porn, so I'm going to take the Dustin Hoffman route in Tootsie and just switch teams. But I'll also have a vagina.

If that doesn't jump start my career, I'll just try to get a date with Eddie Murphy or Brett Ratner.