For the woman I saw at the Sixth Street Applebee’s last night stuffing her face with a heaping pile of extra beef nachos: Remember when I asked you if you needed a napkin and you just leaned over and used my t-shirt?

I canNOT stop thinking about you.

Jerry 918-826-12–

w4m: Hi. I was in line at the bank (pink top, white skirt, brown hair) when you robbed the Ashbury St. Washington Mutual last Thursday. You had a gruff-sounding voice and a semi-automatic, and you were wearing a pair of women’s tights over your ruggedly-handsome face (I think; I hope). Anyways, I was just wondering: Maybe I could get my wedding ring back the hard way?

Call me if you want in the vault.
Grace 606 408-65–

To the red-headed bartender at the Lone Palm: Baby, you are top-notch masturbait.
And there is definitely gonna be a Lone Palm tonight!

Bill “Lefty” McKracken.

411 that if you want to “lend a hand.”