We’re All Dying a Slow, Electronic Death
You ever realize how as you get to know someone better, your level of punctuation and capitalization on emails and Facebook and stuff gets progressively worse?
Comedy Writing
Omegle Chat: A Symbol of the Times
<p><img src="/files/u2/omegle-chat.jpg" alt="Omegle chat logo" hspace="3" vspace="3" width="200" height="55" align="right" />Have you tried using <a href="http://www.omegle.com" title="Omegle.com">Omegle</a> yet? All it does it load a huge chat window, then you press "Start a Chat" and it connects you to a random stranger. It's everything you ever wanted from the man in the white van as a child, without the threat of losing your anal virginity. </p>
Where I Was When Michael Jackson Died
<p>I was on a hot, crowded bus, riding 25 minutes to my destination.</p>
Planning to Party Like It’s 1999
<img src="/files/u2/grissom-tiger.gif" alt="Grissom High School Reunion Tiger" hspace="4" vspace="3" width="100" height="100" align="right" />The students on the planning committee for my 10-year high school reunion sent out the following email: "There are 492 of us so the more we can find, the better!
How to Rob a House
An unedited article submission tackling another illegal profession: robbery. Don't read too closely, for you'll likely need a lot more instruction before making this a career.
Sub-Headline News: Sideways Tornadoes!
<p><img class="photo" src="/files/u2/derecho-storm.jpg" alt="Derecho storm" width="200" height="150" /></p><p><a href="https://www.pointsincase.com/blogs/court-sullivan/surprise-your-confirmation-number-696969#subheadline-news">Sub-headline news</a> is where I take today's headlines straight from Yahoo! News, paste them in bold, then add what should've followed, had the reporter been trying to lose his job. </p>
Surprise, Your Confirmation Number is 696969!
<p><img src="/files/u2/jonas-brothers.jpg" alt="Jonas Brothers on People Magazine cover" hspace="4" vspace="3" width="150" height="199" align="right" />Have you ever wondered why companies give you a confirmation number for a transaction? If something goes wrong and they don't believe you bought a product or can't find your information, why does one complicated number clear everything up?
The Only Letter I’ve Ever Received from an Inmate
Last summer I got the strangest letter in the mail, on my birthday. The letter was from an "Inmate of Broward Correctional Facility."
You’ve Got the Whole World Behind You, Baby
<img src="/files/u2/baby-carrier-front.jpg" alt="Front baby carrier" title="Get me the FUCK away from this bitch!" hspace="4" vspace="3" width="125" height="171" align="right" />I think those baby carriers women wear on their chest are super weird. Baby frontpacks if you will. It's like these women had some urge to be pregnant all over again, which I've never heard ANY woman request before.
Shut Up and Do Your Job
<img src="/files/u2/billionaire-crown.jpg" alt="Billionaire dressed as royalty with a huge crown" title="Now fetch me my gold polish!!" hspace="4" vspace="2" width="145" height="248" align="right" />Do you ever get the feeling that when the government casually throws around numbers like "$800 billion" and "$410 billion spending plan" that billionaires around the world are getti
Top Secret Blog (For Your Eyes Only)
<img src="/files/u2/notepad-designer-bw.jpg" alt="Black and white notepad rolodex" title="Takin it back to the old school" hspace="4" vspace="2" width="125" height="160" align="right" />With all the technologies these days for sharing even short amounts of information with lots of people at once (Facebook, MySpace, mass texting, BCC emails, Twitter, blogs, comments, profiles, chats, etc, etc), som
How to Find Out How Rich Your Friends Are
<img src="/files/u2/checkbook-hand.jpg" alt="Person writing a check" title="Worst $300 ever" hspace="3" width="150" height="188" align="right" />Here's the easiest way to figure out how rich or poor one of your friends is: write them a check for $300 and see how fast they cash it. <p><strong>1 day:</strong> Broke as hell.