I feel for PETA, I really do. I mean, I can definitely see where they're coming from. Every day, millions of animals are killed for such things as food and clothing. It is true that the slaughter of millions of animals for our own benefit may be a problem, but there is a bigger problem at hand, an epidemic if you will. Every day, poor defenseless vegetables are plucked from their homes and subjected to cruel and unusual deaths.

"Vegetables?" you ask. Yes, vegetables.

Vegetable deaths outweigh animal deaths by the BILLIONS. And no vegetable is safe. Carrots, lettuce, chick peas, snow peas, corn, white corn, black corn, baby corn…. Every day, millions of little baby corn are killed before they ever had a chance to live, to experience life outside the husk.

Now picture this:

You're a carrot; life is good, except for a few close calls with those asshole rabbits. Then all of a sudden you feel a pull at your stem/hair. Fuck, is it another rabbit? No, the grip is way too strong.

Before you know it you're plucked from the ground. You try to look at what's going on, but you have no eyes to see. You try to scream, but no vocal chords. You have no legs to run away, no teeth or claws to protect yourself. Unlike a cow, you are UDDERLY helpless.

Then, you are dropped into a hard wooden basket, where you feel the weight of other vegetables being piled in. You find temporary comfort in the feeling of familiarity; you remember the good times you and broccoli shared in the garden, just soaking up the sun and extracting nutrients from the rich soil you both called home. Ahh, photosynthesis…that was the life. But now your whole world has been turned upside down and you face a most uncertain fate.

After a long journey you feel the basket drop. The fear and uncertainty building up inside you is overwhelming. The others begin to be plucked from the basket, and you know it's only a matter of time before you meet your fate. Finally, you are grabbed from the basket. Unexpectedly though, you are plunged into luke warm water and gently scrubbed down. It feels nice, but your journey has only begun.

All of a sudden you feel cold steel against your body, and before you know it your skin is being peeled away from your body. The pain is excruciating; who would do such a thing?! You are fading in and out of consciousness and the last thing you feel before you die is scalding water slowly turning you to mush. You're soup. You never had a chance.

Now you tell me who has it bad.

If you want to help the cause, you can contact other veggie activists like me at any of these organizations:

Vegatables Against Greatly INhumane Acts

Carrots Under No Teeth

Carrots Live In Terror