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As flattering as all your attention is, and as much as you'd love to go out on my limb for me, I need to branch out and you're stifling me, Sunshine.
Often imitated, never duplicated, the Evil one is now jumping buses in the sky. Let's hope the clouds are softer than his previous landings.
We won the war, we drive on the right side of the road, and we could care less about Victoria Beckham. Clearly, the U.S. is better than England.
What little clarity is available in man's brain can only be tapped right after that ass. Then it's all muddy again with thoughts of dirty sex.
Boy meets girl, girl meets penis, things are going well. But what do you do when girl meets Star Wars collection, and girl goes mild?
Your pointless verbal plea for a call back to help improve your feeling of self-worth is really starting to get annoying. Just send me a text, moron.
Ugly people's lives may look sad and depressing, but who are the ones having to dress, act, and live by other people's standards?
Point and Counterpointless by Et Nola and Tom Carmack. Advice columns get a fancy PIC head-to-head response makeover.
Getting rid of the clingy fat on your sides may not involve dieting, just getting the overweight girl to stop following you around. Use the Force.
When you told me to 'MySpace you' at the bar last night, I really thought we had something special. I would've put you in my Top 8, bitch...
Do you want to lose weight but are tired of dieting or trying? Then today is your lucky day! Weight Loss Mania can even help adults with fat kids!
Go ahead, bust out the crystal goblets, there's no risk anyone will show up to these parties to break it. Unless of course you're a party Nazi.