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In being famous you will be subject to a hopelessly boring life, and answer to absolutely every-fucking-body with no will to think independently. If this isn’t enough to deter you, follow these rules.
Felix sat down in one of the moderately expensive chairs and set his briefcase on the table in front of him. Inside was the script. Not just any script, but his life's accomplishment.
I intern at what they call a 'vanity' publishing house, which takes its title quite literally. We’re like that fake music video company that pissed out the auto-tuned disease that is 'Friday.'
Some fellows will protest that approaching women with a wingman pretending to be a vampire is the height of indignity, in which case, get over your fucking dignity hangup.
Nowadays, it's all too common for a mother to have the holy blue hell beaten out of her daily by her 8-year-old son. But not after a visit by one of our trained sex offender actors!
No matter how sexually stimulating you may find the academic world, it simply won't help you in the long run. Here are six life lessons worth remembering, including the futility of true love.
In my women's studies class we studied the peculiar behavior of the dumb cunt. I feel that these women exhibit seemingly innocent behavior that must be decoded to reveal its true intentions.
When the Miami Heat lost the NBA Championship, a sigh of relief went out in 49 states. You see, most of America learned to resent all things LeBron James in just one year's time.
This is about reality television redefining who we are and what visions we have for the future. The TV cage match between Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian will propel us into a new age.
I was the center of elevator attention and not in the best way. The doors opened on 17 and everyone--and I mean everyone--got out. I slumped to the floor.
The world around us is going to shit and yet we choose to ignore the sleeping giant that will one day destroy everything we know and love. I am talking about the young people of today, the Internetters.
It's like, I know I smell kind of gross, but it's a rotting corpse thing, can you really blame me? Just ONE mummy body wash, that’s all I ask!