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The main characters will be named Tad, Morglee, Suppa, and Caldwater. They are all incredibly hot but still unpleasant to look at.
I said similar color blocks. No, SIMILAR color! What the hell, are you stupid or something?
For every barrel of oil sold, a mid-level sales associate enters a tally mark into a Google spreadsheet.
Soon we'll live in a world where Neuralink will let us surf the internet just by thinking about it and bleeding from our eyes.
Anti-Christ. Bizarro-God. The Divinaughty. Providen’t. The horn in horny. The original Pitchfork Media. The devil you know.
Hey Google, search “affordable therapists near me,” and please read the results to the tune of “Baby Shark.”
Later I realized the pins shouldn’t have had an extended death sequence where they struggle on the ground pleading for their life.
We regret to inform you we won't be able to offer you a position at this time. We'll always wonder what could have been.
Our menu? Menu…. Oh, the "menu"! Yes, sorry, didn’t follow what you meant at first. We can’t remember the last time someone actually asked for that.
A bank teller overeager to waive overdraft fees on my debit card in an attempt to maintain our relationship.
Two friends book a cabin with two beds on Airbnb, but upon arriving they realize the second bed is actually a yoga mat with a blanket and pillow.
It’s not all caviar and champagne; just some of it--like 40 percent. SHUT UP! Don’t speak. I have a lot to say.