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We cannot hallow—this ground, except of course by playing a consciousness-altering stream of Christmas songs in November and December without pause.
These last ten months of social distancing, mask-wearing, and air-hugging have to have been especially tough on extroverts.
We were trying to get to Uranus, and had mistaken your planet for our intended destination. So we started calling you bipeds "Uranuses."
Every Chanukah for the past seven years she kept telling you she doesn't want you to buy her anything, with “BUY” and “THING” in air quotes.
Does this mean Santa's Workshop will close? Santa's Workshop will live on as a digital storefront competing with hundreds of counterfeiters.
He had pallid green skin and was terribly smelly, Like putrid roast beef in petroleum jelly.
“We must hide his nonconformity,” said Donner as he rubbed his son’s nose with mud. “Pa, I don’t want to!” “Just endure, Rudolph.”
Folks have been sending us questions about the meteor explosion, and we’re going to give you all the information you’ll need to get through this.
Okay, just because you didn’t say “Rudolph” doesn’t mean you “protected my identity.” It sounds like you were very specific about the shiny nose.
You and I both know what I’ve been up to, and it isn’t putting me on anyone’s good list.
A guide to retroactively adjusting your 2020 New Year’s resolutions so you don’t feel quite so unaccomplished.
It is shameful, unless there’s some type of giant blizzard and it gets really chilly outside for a few days.