Literary Reviews of Mom Texts
There's no living author with a better take on the "excruciating telegram" style of mom text messages.
There's no living author with a better take on the "excruciating telegram" style of mom text messages.
Let me know how I can be of use. Today’s Tip: You’re spending too much time on Twitter at the expense of your personal relationships!
I can survive at a depth of six meters under water up to 30 minutes, unlike your ex who just quit it over a spilled lemonade.
Some of you seem to be using this platform for what my psychologist, Dr. Winter, has identified as attention-seeking behavior.
Ganesh, God of New Beginnings: I'm all for New Year's resolutions, but I bet you ten rupees she uses that annual yoga studio pass exactly once.
My response time is immediate. Sometimes I respond to texts before I even get them.
7:45 AM: I turn the TV on while I make breakfast. The hosts are showing how to make crab cakes for fifteen minutes straight.
June 7th, 2020: Enriched flour, Sourdough starter, Yeast, Loaf of Sara Lee in case July 4th, 2020: Watermelon, American flag to burn, Hot dogs
Journal entries dissecting a previous relationship / Bad poetry / Concerns to share with doctor / Reminder to self to be more crafty
I ree need to know if youtube dining hin fit Chirstmas, / Translation: “I really need to know if you’re coming home for Christmas.”
Am I OK? What do you care? You’re just thinking, “Did anyone like the bikini pic I posted at the pool before I ALMOST KILLED MY BEST FRIEND?”
As soon as I step away from my phone for two minutes, I come back to 8,700 unread messages. There’s no way I can keep up with it.