I’m the Couch You Left at the Curb, and I Am Pissed
Whose fault is it I don’t look perfect anymore? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my arms that splashed me with queso dip.
Whose fault is it I don’t look perfect anymore? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my arms that splashed me with queso dip.
Through budgeting tweaks and a winning Powerball lottery ticket, you, too, can be living with no debt and $400 million in savings.
May: The Memento effect begins to set in as the temperature starts to go up. You start to hear people say things like "Winter wasn’t even that bad."
Don't be intimidated, I'm still just like you, only quite a bit better now. You see, I read an entire book during quarantine.
Can you see this? Yes, of course. What is it? A banana. No, I mean, like, what color is it? Yellow.
If you were planning one of the many parties I assume you have without me, would you: A) Invite me! B) Neglect me!
All My Fucks graduated from Shame University in 1998 with high honors.
Never Posts in the Group Chat Guy: A true live-only act. He might answer a text if you get sick.
My response time is immediate. Sometimes I respond to texts before I even get them.
All I wanted to do is continue the progression of time the way it has been going for all of fucking history. But suddenly the pandemic's MY fault?
Test the vitality of your brain’s grid-mapping cells by devising an elaborate escape route.
I’d become what’s known as "The Cool Dad" among David’s friends, and I was worried that coming off as anti-cockfighting would harm that reputation.