Erin: I think that everybody has something that they miss almost every day of their lives.
Steve: I know what you mean. Not a day goes by that I don't miss the cartilage from my left knee.
Erin: Okay, that's not exactly what I mean.
Me: What do you mean, then?
Erin: I mean that there's a little piece of all of us that just got? let go, you know. Like we did something or said something that we can't take back and it just follows us forever.
Me: You've had an abortion haven't you?
Tony: Hey, why did that pretty girl leave this place crying, Mr. Nate?
Me: She had an abortion.
Tony: Right here in the bar?
Steve: Erin was talking about how a piece of her was missing or some such shit, so genius here jumps to the fucked up conclusion?ultimately correct though it was?that she had once had an abortion.
Tony: And you said this out loud?
Me: No, I wrote out a note and passed it to her. Of course I said it out loud.
Tony: You see, this is what people mean when they say that you're insensitive.
Steve: And rude.
Tony: And obnoxious.
Me: You guys can stop any time now.
Me: I don't see how I was being rude.
Tony: Okay, let me break this down for you from the perspective of a normal person.
Me: No offense over here or anything.
Tony: Good.
Tony: You see, there is not now, nor has their ever been a context in which it is polite for you to ask a woman if she's had an abortion. I mean, you wouldn't just walk up to a stranger and ask her if she's had an abortion, would you?
Me: Of course not.
Tony: It then follows that asking a woman if she's had an abortion is rude.
Me: I concur with that statement, but this girl all but said she had an abortion. I just read her well.
Tony: You know Mr. Nate, you can read without talking.
Steve: He got you there, fucker.
Me: Fuck off.
Me: So, how do I apologize for this?
Debbie: You don't.
Me: What do you mean? There has to be a way.
Debbie: Nate, you made a girl cry while bringing to light her past abortion. There's no card for that. Just stay away from her forever.
Me: Well, I guess that's easier than apologizing.
Debbie: You're such a dick.
Labels: snippets