The New York Times reported today that a 30-mile-wide meteor is hurtling toward Earth, capable of destroying all life in two days.

Looks like the mainstream media is at it again. Can someone say “fake news”?

Let’s get the facts straight: They sourced the story with two dozen scientists, astronomers, and mathematicians. They included photo evidence of the meteor in the night sky. They featured ten different NASA-backed charts and graphs that explained the meteor’s trajectory.

And while that’s all well and good, I’ve heard firsthand from some very reliable sources that there is no meteor, and that the giant rock in the sky is just a hoax meant to distract the population from the Senate’s latest tax cuts.

Why would I trust the failing NYT and a bunch of politically-tainted scientific testimony when I can listen to the average, all-American man-on-the-street who values the truth over some fancy liberal tree-hugging fake news?

Sure, I care about the environment and all that. But what I really care about is the economy. And I know that all this meteor hysteria is just distracting us from the real issues.

If we start to spend our time and money on the meteor-destroying rockets that the Dems are proposing, then we won’t be able to give money back to local businesses. And then China starts taking over even more of our industries. Do we want that to happen? Do we want China to suddenly become the world’s only superpower while we deal with all the meteor stuff that may or may not be real?

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Look, I’m not saying that the Earth-destroying meteor ISN’T real. For all I know, 99% of the scientific community could actually be correct, and the meteor could in fact be two days away from killing us all.

But what if they’re wrong?

What if that meteor that we can clearly see in the sky is somehow not going to destroy us? What then?

I was watching Fox & Friends this morning, and they were talking with Dr. Nicky, a renowned scientist who explained in simple sentences that the meteor wasn’t real. Sure, the vast majority of astronomers disagree with him, and sure, Dr. Nicky only has an associate’s degree in business administration from French Polynesia Community College–but I trust him. He’s not part of the liberal elite. And I know he tells it like it is.

So once again, the The New York Times has riled everyone up for no reason at all. For the next two days, I plan to sit back and hope that the idiots in Washington get their act together and pass some tax reform. I care about the future of this country.

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