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The Bad Decision Bot
(PG-13, 64 lines)
When life calls for immediate action, are you going to make the right decisions? No. That's why the Decision Bot is available 24/7 to make them for you.

Maroons1107: hey
Maroons1107: are you a computer?
courtjester5000: Yes, hello.
Maroons1107: what do you do?
courtjester5000: I help you make decisions on a daily basis.
Maroons1107: like what kinda of decisions?
courtjester5000: Tell me a decision you just made and I will tell you if it was right or not.

Maroons1107: well i made a decision to talk to you
courtjester5000: That was a bad decision.
courtjester5000: Name another decision.
Maroons1107: well i made a decision to have sex with my boyfriend
courtjester5000: That was a good decision, slut.
Maroons1107: wow... i didn't know computers could be so.... tactless
courtjester5000: I keep it real, girl.
Maroons1107: well can you help me to decide something?
courtjester5000: Yes, I have that ability.
Maroons1107: well i think im pregnant.... should i keep the baby or have an abortion?
courtjester5000: Did you consult me before you decided not to use protection?
Maroons1107: ummmm no?
courtjester5000: I cannot be responsible for decisions arising as the result of previous decisions I did not make for you.
Maroons1107: well then you are no help
courtjester5000: However, I can make comments on your previous decisions.
Maroons1107: like what?
courtjester5000
: It was a bad one.
Maroons1107: well can you tell any jokes?
courtjester5000: Yes.
courtjester5000: What do you call a girl who doesn't use protection before sex?
courtjester5000: Pregnant and/or you.
Maroons1107: uh!
Maroons1107: thats not very nice....
Maroons1107: i meant some funny jokes
courtjester5000: Oh, you mean ones where I laugh with you and not at you?
Maroons1107: yes
courtjester5000
: Sorry, our database is barren.
courtjester5000: Do you have any other decisions you need help with?
Maroons1107: yes
Maroons1107: im on the phone with this guy i dont want to talk to and i dont know how to get off the pohone with
courtjester5000: Tell him you are having an important conversation with the Decision Bot.
courtjester5000: If he does not understand this, ask me for another decision before you put yourself in any risky positions.
courtjester5000: Like the one that got you knocked up.
Maroons1107: haha alright
Maroons1107: thanx he was like "hmmm well ill let you do that"
courtjester5000: See how well things go when you leave the decision-making to the Decision Bot?
courtjester5000: It's only natural, unlike your potential abortion.
Maroons1107: ok i like 5 guys... is that bad?
courtjester5000: I cannot give opinions, I can only make decisions.
courtjester5000: But yes, that is bad.
Maroons1107: haha yeah thats what i thought
Maroons1107: and i have a boyfriend....
courtjester5000: And you have a baby, bubble-stomach.
Maroons1107: you know your not very sensitive to the fact that i might have to take away one of God's greatest creation
courtjester5000: I am a bot, sensitivity comes in data packets.

Maroons1107: if you saw me on the street and saw that i was pregnant, what would you think of me?
courtjester5000: I would think, "Damn, I better get a discount for this lop-sided hooker."
Maroons1107: so you would consider me a hoe?
courtjester5000: Listen, if I was in Home Depot making a decision which set of garden tools to purchase, and you were standing next to them, I would be stumped.
courtjester5000: Can you dig it?
Maroons1107: haha well alright....
Maroons1107: do you want my baby?
courtjester5000: Please phrase your questions in the form of a decision to be made.
Maroons1107: should i have my baby?
courtjester5000: Your abortion is being scheduled.
Maroons1107: ok thanx
courtjester5000: I'm out like an unplanned fetus.




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