When life calls for immediate action, are you going to make the right decisions? No. That's why the Decision Bot is available 24/7 to make them for you.
Maroons1107: hey Maroons1107: are you a computer? courtjester5000: Yes, hello. Maroons1107: what do you do? courtjester5000: I help you make decisions on a daily basis. Maroons1107: like what kinda of decisions? courtjester5000: Tell me a decision you just made and I will tell you if it was right or not.
Maroons1107: well i made a decision to talk to you courtjester5000: That was a bad decision. courtjester5000: Name another decision. Maroons1107: well i made a decision to have sex with my boyfriend courtjester5000: That was a good decision, slut. Maroons1107: wow... i didn't know computers could be so.... tactless courtjester5000: I keep it real, girl. Maroons1107: well can you help me to decide something? courtjester5000: Yes, I have that ability. Maroons1107: well i think im pregnant.... should i keep the baby or have an abortion? courtjester5000: Did you consult me before you decided not to use protection? Maroons1107: ummmm no? courtjester5000: I cannot be responsible for decisions arising as the result of previous decisions I did not make for you. Maroons1107: well then you are no help courtjester5000: However, I can make comments on your previous decisions. Maroons1107: like what? courtjester5000: It was a bad one. Maroons1107: well can you tell any jokes? courtjester5000: Yes. courtjester5000: What do you call a girl who doesn't use protection before sex? courtjester5000: Pregnant and/or you. Maroons1107: uh! Maroons1107: thats not very nice.... Maroons1107: i meant some funny jokes courtjester5000: Oh, you mean ones where I laugh with you and not at you? Maroons1107: yes courtjester5000: Sorry, our database is barren. courtjester5000: Do you have any other decisions you need help with? Maroons1107: yes Maroons1107: im on the phone with this guy i dont want to talk to and i dont know how to get off the pohone with courtjester5000: Tell him you are having an important conversation with the Decision Bot. courtjester5000: If he does not understand this, ask me for another decision before you put yourself in any risky positions. courtjester5000: Like the one that got you knocked up. Maroons1107: haha alright Maroons1107: thanx he was like "hmmm well ill let you do that" courtjester5000: See how well things go when you leave the decision-making to the Decision Bot? courtjester5000: It's only natural, unlike your potential abortion. Maroons1107: ok i like 5 guys... is that bad? courtjester5000: I cannot give opinions, I can only make decisions. courtjester5000: But yes, that is bad. Maroons1107: haha yeah thats what i thought Maroons1107: and i have a boyfriend.... courtjester5000: And you have a baby, bubble-stomach. Maroons1107: you know your not very sensitive to the fact that i might have to take away one of God's greatest creation courtjester5000: I am a bot, sensitivity comes in data packets.
Maroons1107: if you saw me on the street and saw that i was pregnant, what would you think of me? courtjester5000: I would think, "Damn, I better get a discount for this lop-sided hooker." Maroons1107: so you would consider me a hoe? courtjester5000: Listen, if I was in Home Depot making a decision which set of garden tools to purchase, and you were standing next to them, I would be stumped. courtjester5000: Can you dig it? Maroons1107: haha well alright.... Maroons1107: do you want my baby? courtjester5000: Please phrase your questions in the form of a decision to be made. Maroons1107: should i have my baby? courtjester5000: Your abortion is being scheduled. Maroons1107: ok thanx courtjester5000: I'm out like an unplanned fetus.
