Home > The Bad Decision Bot

The Bad Decision Bot

AIM Convos(PG-13, 64 lines)

 When life calls for immediate action, are you going to make the right decisions? No. That's why the Decision Bot is available 24/7 to make them for you.

Maroons1107: hey
 Maroons1107: are you a computer?
 courtjester5000 : Yes, hello.
 Maroons1107: what do you do?
 courtjester5000: I help you make decisions on a daily basis.
 Maroons1107: like what kinda of decisions?
 courtjester5000: Tell me a decision you just made and I will tell you if it was right or not.

Maroons1107: well i made a decision to talk to you
 courtjester5000 : That was a bad decision.
 courtjester5000: Name another decision.
 Maroons1107 : well i made a decision to have sex with my boyfriend
 courtjester5000: That was a good decision, slut.
 Maroons1107: wow... i didn't know computers could be so.... tactless
 courtjester5000: I keep it real, girl.
 Maroons1107 : well can you help me to decide something?
 courtjester5000: Yes, I have that ability.
 Maroons1107: well i think im pregnant.... should i keep the baby or have an abortion?
 courtjester5000: Did you consult me before you decided not to use protection?
 Maroons1107 : ummmm no?
 courtjester5000: I cannot be responsible for decisions arising as the result of previous decisions I did not make for you.
 Maroons1107 : well then you are no help
 courtjester5000: However, I can make comments on your previous decisions.
 Maroons1107: like what?
 courtjester5000 : It was a bad one.
 Maroons1107: well can you tell any jokes?
 courtjester5000: Yes.
 courtjester5000: What do you call a girl who doesn't use protection before sex?
 courtjester5000 : Pregnant and/or you.
 Maroons1107: uh!
 Maroons1107: thats not very nice....
 Maroons1107 : i meant some funny jokes
 courtjester5000: Oh, you mean ones where I laugh with you and not at you?
 Maroons1107: yes
 courtjester5000: Sorry, our database is barren.
 courtjester5000 : Do you have any other decisions you need help with?
 Maroons1107: yes
 Maroons1107: im on the phone with this guy i dont want to talk to and i dont know how to get off the pohone with
 courtjester5000: Tell him you are having an important conversation with the Decision Bot.
 courtjester5000: If he does not understand this, ask me for another decision before you put yourself in any risky positions.
 courtjester5000 : Like the one that got you knocked up.
 Maroons1107: haha alright
 Maroons1107: thanx he was like "hmmm well ill let you do that"
 courtjester5000 : See how well things go when you leave the decision-making to the Decision Bot?
 courtjester5000: It's only natural, unlike your potential abortion.
 Maroons1107 : ok i like 5 guys... is that bad?
 courtjester5000: I cannot give opinions, I can only make decisions.
 courtjester5000 : But yes, that is bad.
 Maroons1107: haha yeah thats what i thought
 Maroons1107: and i have a boyfriend....
 courtjester5000 : And you have a baby, bubble-stomach.
 Maroons1107: you know your not very sensitive to the fact that i might have to take away one of God's greatest creation
 courtjester5000: I am a bot, sensitivity comes in data packets.
Maroons1107: if you saw me on the street and saw that i was pregnant, what would you think of me?
 courtjester5000: I would think, "Damn, I better get a discount for this lop-sided hooker."
 Maroons1107: so you would consider me a hoe?
 courtjester5000: Listen, if I was in Home Depot making a decision which set of garden tools to purchase, and you were standing next to them, I would be stumped.
 courtjester5000: Can you dig it?
 Maroons1107: haha well alright....
 Maroons1107 : do you want my baby?
 courtjester5000: Please phrase your questions in the form of a decision to be made.
 Maroons1107 : should i have my baby?
 courtjester5000: Your abortion is being scheduled.
 Maroons1107: ok thanx
 courtjester5000 : I'm out like an unplanned fetus.

More AIM Convos »

Average: 4.7 (6 votes)