Ernest Hemingway’s Toyota Summer Sales Event
Ted counts the number of cupholders in a Toyota Sienna. There are 18. This was not the future he had imagined for himself. He thinks of Paris.
Tag: Summer
We Will Get to Your Patriotic Drone Show, but We Are Going to Have to Sit through Devin’s Anime Bullshit First
Honestly, this might be a blessing in disguise. He included this whole “Avengers Assemble”-style roll call with the Founding Fathers that is so sick.
The Worst Part About Renting a Summer House Is Being at the Center of a Reality Show Scandal
I never saw myself as a Hamptons person. I also never saw myself at the center of a scandal on a Bravo reality show, but here we are.
Making This Movie Was like Summer Camp
Sometimes we missed the real world, so we would use the payphone to call our agents, managers, and publicists with the spare change they’d given us.
Ten Signs You’ve Got Brain Rot This Summer, and One Sign You Should Just Lie Down in the Grass and Let the Ants Take You
You’ve started narrating your own life in the cadence of a TikTok slideshow.
Everything I Will Accomplish During My Perfectly Curated Adult Summer
After what happened last summer, I will not run after the Freddy’s Frozen Freaks ice cream truck.
What Your Liberal Arts College Professors Are Really Doing for Summer Vacation
Dr. Ellis is not worrying about grading papers or summoning a hoard of lizard monsters for Gork the Lizard King.
I Know This Is Your Summer Hangout, but as Your Father I Think It Would Be Much Better If I Fired up the Grill
I’ve got everything lined up so this grilling experience won’t be sullied by past mistakes. Remember the infamous Frankless Fourth of July?
Summer Movie Releases as Previewed by Your Neighbor Who Is Getting a Pool
Honestly, I don’t know what I’m more excited for: a new Transformers movie or this brand new swimming pool I’m having put in my backyard.
Goodbye, Summer
Goodbye to cooling off with a quick dip, wading too far out, getting swept to sea, and awaking on a pirate ship Bone Rattler.
Terms and Conditions Agreement Between a Local and a Fucking Summer Person
The Summer Person is permitted to remark out loud a phrase along the lines of “This town is so quaint” a total of (1) time.
Terms and Conditions for Dad Taking His Shirt Off This Summer
Dad may not get a little sun. Dad may not “air dry.” Dad may not play his belly like a bongo.