Something haunted me for my entire high school experience and I don't really talk about it much (my parents hate thinking about it... heh).
When you've got an itch that even the dog can't seem to scratch the right way, turn to Nick Gaudio. He'll set your ass straight.
His father was a hardnosed man. He was also hard-bodied, hardheaded, hardworking and a touch hard of hearing. The last one was the most dangerous.
Going down to South Park going to see if I can't... engage in sleazy ransacking, hot tub hookuping, 50-pound pussy sleeping, all in Trey Parker's house.
Okay, I'll admit screwing your wife in public was wrong, but completely emasculating you in the process, well, that was way out of line.
Sometimes homeless people go above and beyond the call of duty in the hustle for a quarter. For stories like this, it's definitely a dollar.
Everyone fantasizes about being a celebrity occasionally, but the only realistic way to brush with stardom is to crash the tour bus. Duh.
In 6th grade, I went out with a girl named Shanna. She was outgoing and out of my league, and I was shy and a center fielder for the Blue Jays.